Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Bowl season recap, to this pt.

Unfortunately, I have been too busy to be completely wrapped up in watching all of the non-BCS bowls to this juncture. Hopefully, that will change a bit in the near future. However, here are some of the high and low points of what I've seen thus far.
1:Best bowl to date: Probably the UNC-West Virginia game, but TCU-Boise State, MD- Nevada and Missouri-Northwestern all were pretty exciting, or at least the parts I've watched, plus the highlights were.
2: I like how teams like to leave defensive play to the regular season.
3: Pat White is a college football God. He's a folk hero of John Henryesque proportions, and one day, when I'm a grizzled grandfather, I will sit by the solar trash heap on blustery nights, regaling my grandchildren with tales of 50 and 60 yard touchdown heroics. I'll always miss Pat White in college football.
4: Everybody better watch the fuck out for UNC next year. I feel like Butch Davis should receive some C.O.T.Y. recognition for making UNC football relevant once again.
5: Rutgers finished the season in absolutely scorching fashion. After the miserable start, this team really got it going in the second half of the year. Rutgers should have won 10 games.
6: I like when I make my bowl pick'em selection thusly: I'll take Rice over Western Michigan because I know the names of two of Rice's players ad don't know shit about Western Michigan. Pretty good system, I guess.
7: I'm really surprised that Oregon beat OK State. I thought that Oklahoma State was probably a Top 10 team this season, but sketchy defensive play kind of left them on the upper side of mediocre at the conclusion.
8: The U will probably fire Randy Shannon at the conclusion of next season.
9: FSU straight put a good ole Southern ass-whoopin' on Wisconsin. FSU isn't quite back to form, but those guys are making progress.
10: Did anyone see that ridiculous Black leather oxford shirt Ladanian Tomlinson was wearing at the TCU-Boise game? Horrendous. At least the fact that L.T. is more country than a sack o possums is a little comforting.
11:The Maryland-Nevada game had the wildest opening six minutes of football I've seen this year. In the course of 360 seconds, both teams scored touchdowns, Maryland missed a p.a.t., Nevada scored in about three plays, Maryland ran the ensuing kickoff back 99 yds for a t.d., the MD kicker botched the kickoff as the ball blew off the tee, Nevada retunedit to the three yd. line and then tossed a pick. Amazing! In the end, Maryland prevailed due to one fact- The Terps have Chris "Big Game" Turner commandeering the offense. With at least 50 fans in the house and a blue playing surf, Big game Turner realizes that the odds are against his Terrapins and rises to the challenge. Excalibur! Victory!
12: If Athens hosted a bowl in Sanford Stadium it could be called the Golden Bowl and be hosted by the Grit, the 40 Watt and REM (props to JR Suicide on naming sponsorship). Just sayin...
13: More updates to come, but I wish all two readers a Happy New Year

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

another awesomely amazingly shitty coach auburn forgot to hire instead of Gene Chizik

Darrell Dickey: Dickey was so awesome at North Texas that when they fired his ass, he made their usual jerseys disappear and forced the team to play its final game in generic middle school tearaway practice uniforms. He's now the Utah State offensive coordinator, so perhaps Auburn will give some serious thought to hiring him as Chizik's replacement.

Honorable mention goes to Ted Roof, Duke's one-time coach who was so committed to the tradition of keeping Duke at the bottom of the ACC that the school actually forgot he was coach and hired David Cutcliffe to give the Blue Devils at least a modicum of lower-tier respectability.

Interactive Horsehockey

Honestly, turning awesome the Poinsettia Bowl matchup between Boise St and TCU into an ESPN Interactive Tuesday shitstorm is one of the worst ideas ever. Hopefully, if this one comes down to a one-possession game the banal fan comments that have rolled across the top of the screen throughout most of the game will cease. Seriously, ESPN is ruining one of the best bowl match-ups this year has to offer.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

10 more hires that would have made JR Suicide finally blow his brains out

i enjoyed Kenniebloggin's 10 coaching hires that would've been worse than Gene Chizik (although i honestly would take Steve Spurrier over the guy we have).

here's 10 more coaches that would have been worse hires

1. Bill Calahan- already has a lot of experience taking a once proud college football program and running it into the ground.

2. Fisher DeBerry- "Afro-American kids can run very, very well". thanks Captain Obvious. yeah he'd be a beast on the recruiting trail.

3. Steve Kragthorpe- like Calahan but he did an even better job of ruining a program even more he lost to Greg Robinson (twice!!!)

4. Ty Willingham- a black coach that even Barkley would've been angry about.

5. Herm Edwards- ditto.

6. Larry Coker- yes he did win a national title, but he also put the U in their current shitty state.

7. Charlie Weis- Auburn would suck and i'd hate the coach. also, he lost to Greg Robinson (at home!).

8. Ed Orgeron- i mean as a recruiter he'd be kind of awesome...but we'd have to wait 3 or 4 years and fire his ass to get someone to win with all his talent.

9. Bob Davie- footbaw

10. whoever the hell coaches for North Texas- they went 1-11 in the fucking Sun Belt. they won that thing like 4 years in a row not that long ago and then fired their coach after two mediocre seasons. how'd that work out for you?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

People Who Would be worse hires for the Auburn Head Football Coaching job than Gene Chizik

A non-comprehensive list in no particular order.
1: Bill Stewart: If Auburn hired Bill Stewart, the man who tried to make Pat White a drop back passing threat and who has dropped n-bombs in the past, charles Barkley wouldbegin whipping more ass on the Plains than he did on that episode of Saturday Night Live when he played one-on-one against Barney.
2: Lou Holtz: Lou Holtz is probably lamenting the fact that Auburn let Terry Bowden go.
3:Steve Spurrier: Hey, Spurrier may be the best coach in the SEC, but have you noticed that he's not particularly great at beating in-state rivals as of late?
4: Mike Dubose, Mike Price or Mike Shula: Okay, these are all possibly equal hires with Price being a possible step up for Auburn.
5:The head football coach at the high school where I am currently employed. In two years, he's compiled a 4-13 record and has been quoted thusly: "There's no way that team is 56 points better than we are."
6: Hal Mumme: Auburn would still suck and would be on probation in like 5 minutes. Furthermore, Tony Franklin may re-emerge in the offensive coordinator mix.
7:Joe Paterno or Bobby Bowden: They both probably remember scheduling Auburn when it was called Alabama Polytechnic Institute
8: Lattimer from The Program.
9:Greg Robinson: Okay, so he did beat Notre Dame and Louisville, but his teams pretty much lost to everyone else.
10:Jeff Lebo: He's done a great job of keeping Auburn's basketball team irrelevant, so why not keep it that way.

Monday, December 15, 2008

My thoughts on Auburn's hiring of Gene Chizick

Are you fucking serious? I had listed Iowa State as one of the worst BCS conference football team and Auburn hires the guy that brought them to the valley of suck that the team currently inhabits. Methinks Auburn hit the panic button a little too early.

Ah, my weekly vow of Bama football silence is over, if you consider not writing about the SEC title game to be silence.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Go Bye Bye, Tub

I'm kind of amazed that Tommy Tuberville "resigned" today. I guess six straight years of kicking Bama's ass were erased in one scoreless Saturday of Auburn football. Though he basically owned Bama during his tenure, I'll miss the guy. I'm sure the Riverboat Gambler will land somewhere and be successful. I guess he kind of got semi-Croomed this year in Auburn's amazing 3-2 win over Mississippi State.

Here's a tribute to that game, which somehow partially began the sealing of his fate.

Sunday, November 30, 2008


Thursday, November 27, 2008

The history of this blog

This sports blog began as an avenue for me to vent my frustrations regarding Alabama's football team, as well as another vehicle for documenting my well-known obsession with NCAA football. It began a year ago this week, and, like most blogs, it began with a flurry of posts, leveled out and then basically died once I became caught up with Alabama's success this season. However, the Iron Bowl holds a special place in my heart, and I feel that it is necessary to give it true respect each year. Yeah, I do think Alabama should win Saturday. Yeah, I do feel as if Alabama has played better football than Auburn every week of the 2008 football season. And yeah, I think Alabama has an advantage in every area of the game going into Saturday's contest. But, do I think it is a given that Alabama will prevail? HELL NAW! Anything can happen in the game, and it usually does. While Auburn's record shows that the team has not lived up to expectations, a win against Bama makes the season a success and dismantles a great deal of what the Tide has accomplished thus far in 2008. Furthermore, if Bama wins, the six straight Auburn wins are placed aside, and Nick Saban has removed that particular albatross from his neck. I think this is a tough one, but I think Bama grinds it out, old school Georgia Championship Wrestling style and wins this version of a no-dq lights out, cage match 28-13.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

He's a beast he's a dog he's a mothafuckin problem

Best college running back in the state of Georgia. Knowshon, who? Yeah, dude is for real.

Monday, November 17, 2008

So, Bama avoids being Croomed and Javier Arenas had 150 plus return yards while Mississippi State puts up under 170 yds of total offense. The rumor mill is churning that Croom's days are numbered. All other SEC coaches will sleep a little more heavily if this is the case. I may break down and cry if Sly is chased from Starkville.

I received an accolade

I was recently named the Most Fashionable Member of the Faculty by the seniors. to be honest, I'm fucking stoked. Wanna come shop with me?

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Shitty football Saturday redux

YUP! The Crooming of a Tide Nation.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Saban Bowl-errr countdown to something

So, I've enjoyed all things Bama these past few days after the albatross was hung about the collective necks of the Crimson Tide. IT took Nick Saban only 22 games to propel the Tide to the top of the AP and BCS polls, and his former school LSU would like to topple Bama after only six days. I guess it would be poetic justice if it happens, and in Baton Rouge, that definitely may be the case. Fuck it, who knows at this point. All I know is that I don't know goddamn shit about college football at this point.

However, I do like when commentators and sportswriters refer to a team as "the hottest team in the country right now," and "the hottest team is always a one loss team on the rebound a la Florida. Florida does look amazing, but the Gators did lose to Ole Miss in the Swamp like six weeks ago. Wouldn't teams that remain unbeaten still be "hotter?" Am I missing something. Oh yeah, style pts.

Michael Crabtree is the most badass player in college football after last week. He's even more badass than a croaker sack full of Tebows.

I kinda doubt that Auburn or Tennessee will lose this weekend.

Kentucky is bowl eligible for the 3rd straight year for the first time since Bear Bryant was head coach. HOLLA!

The ACC and Big East are mind-numbingly schizophrenic, as far as conferences are concerned.

UGA better rebound kinda fast before the Dawgs have to deal with Auburn and Tech. Tech looks ready this year.

Though Alabama is 9-0, the Tide is 0-6 against its final three opponents during the past two years, 0-5 against LSU over the past half-decade and 0-6 against Auburn since 2001. However, if Bama makes the SEC title game, the Tide is 1-1 against Florida since 2005. Go figure.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Sports related Halloween costumes part one

Number One:
For the disgruntled college football fan.
Write the name of your favorite team that probably won't play for a national championship this year but is pretty good (SEC teams will work outstandingly well here, as will USC) then write Texas and Penn State as number one and two with your team listed below Ohio State and, depending on how badly your team finishes up the regular season, you might as well list Boise State ahead of your favorite team as well. You will be the BCS Poll for Halloween if you follow the above steps.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I am a self-loathing pain in my own ass

It has been duly noted everywhere in the college football realm that Alabama is ranked second in the first BCS poll. While the Saban nation gloats over water coolers, heating and air units and toilets throughout the Southeast, I find myself woefully withdrawn from the whole shindig. I, like every other Tide fan, have suffered through the probation years and six straight losses to Auburn, so every week, when other Bama fans are getting riled and ready to watch another ass-whoopin' handed down in the first half by our beloved Tide, I kind of sigh and resign myself to another game. Maybe it's because I'm not used to Bama being good. Maybe it's because the UGA win was so fucking soul-elevating and the day was so epic, that I have found my football center-ground. Maybe it's because I'm now coaching high school sports and have my own team to worry about, but most likely, it's because I see the weaknesses of the team for what they are. Bama is really good, surprisingly good, and JPW has turned into a good game manager, which is what he always should have been. However, the team is young and thin at several positions, and, with Terrence Cody out, this Tennessee game looks daunting. A night game in Knoxville is never easy, especially with more than 100,000 Vols fans drunkenly screaming "Rocky Top," and wearing that horrendous shade of orange. All of it is enough to make a body very nauseated, but that many people wearing that much orange should be illegal. Okay, I digress. I still anticipate that Bama will get this win, but I'm still pretty nervous. Fulmer's career and Tennessee's season still hang in the balance, so the Vols have little to lose. I predict Bama to win, but they, per usual, won't cover in a game in which they are favored.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

What Has Become Of Our Fantasy Team?

The Thug Apologists find themselves 3-4 and in 7th place (out of 10 fucking teams) in the Booze Hounds League. where did it all go wrong? was it deciding to take Tony Romo and T.O. with our top 2 picks instead and taking a solid running back? was it throwing all our hopes into rookie runners like Darren McFadden and Rashard Mendehall instead of sticking with veterans? was it when we picked Roy Williams instead of Calvin Johnson? either way the luck we had last season is totally gone. we suck at fantasy football, dude. like totally suck. JRSuicide and Kenniebloggins should have known better than to put our hopes on Raiders and Cowboys.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Fashion Unconscious

This post has very little to do with college football and a shit ton to do with college football fashion. So, my Chip&Pepper University Alabama retro tee was supposed to arrive via free ground shipping from UPS on Monday. When I arrived, the UPS notice was waiting for me, telling me that I needed to be home to sign for the package. I signed the back of the UPS slip and noted I wanted the package to be left and re-posted the original. Same thing happened on day two, so I tried again. Today was the final day for shipping, and once again, I arrived home after the 2:00-5:00 p.m. UPS drop off time. I was pissed until I discovered that I could pick it up at the UPS center in Bogart. I was stoked and planned to pick it up after work. Then, I began my afternoon constitutional saunter down Boulevard. When I turned down Boulevard from Virginia, I saw the huge brown turd of the UPS truck parked about half a block up the street. I began to sprint. I was nearing the truck when it pulled away from the curb. I said fuck, but didn't stop pursuit. Instead, I became George Teague pursuing Lamar Thomas in the 1992(actually 3) Sugar Bowl and I knew I would catch the truck if the driver stopped again before heading to the top of the hill. Fortunately, the driver stopped a few houses down and I evaded a white Honda while quickly crossing the street to catch the driver. He was very nice and gladly gave me the package containing my shirt. I went home and tried it on, and it was pretty much worth the wait and trouble. Pretty bad ass!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Oh Good, Another Blog For Me To Ramble On

i'd like to thank my friend and fantasy football co-coach for inviting me to contribute some of my mindless drivel on his Bama-centric sports blog. i haven't exactly figured out what i will be posting about here as i do most of my sports related bullshiting on my own site but i'm sure i'll come up with something. til then enjoy this awesome video.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

SEC shootaround...Looking back at the first six games

So, Alabama is undefeated through six games for the fist time since the 2005 campaign featuring the juggernaut that was the Brodie Croyle led Crimson Tide offense. Okay, this team appears to be far more solid than the 2005 team that was 9-0 before losing to LSU and Auburn and didn't score a passing t.d. for six weeks. So far, I am cautiously optimistic about Bama's chances of having a good second half of the season, but games against Ole Miss, Tennessee, LSU, AUburn and an imminent Crooming against Miss. State are all daunting. But the Tide has played extremely well in big games thus far, so hopefully the trend will continue.

This week is huge for LSU, Florida, Vandy and UGA, and Tennessee's season could turn around if the Vols prevail over UGA. IF LSU beats Florida, UGA can hit cruise control for a minute in the East (until the Commodores come to town for homecoming!) and Bama and LSU remain deadlocked in the West. Vandy is the dark horse in the East, and each week, I completely expect a meltdown, but I foresee a bowl visit for Vandy this season. It seems that Tennessee and Auburn are pretty much out of the race to win their respective divisions, but each team could play a spoiler role this season, which would alleviate some of the pain their fans must be feeling right now. So, essentially, the SEC is still a crapshoot and this post was pointless.

And the SEC Gridiron Crybaby Award goes to...

At this juncture, no other school in the conference is even close. So far this season, UF coach Urban Meyer has not only criticized UGA's end zone celebration is last year's victory over the Gators but also criticized the NCAA for changing clock rules and, on average, shortening the length of games by about eight minutes. Now, UF fans' have their collective granny panties in a wad over Ricky Jean-Francois' comments regarding taking Tim Tebow out of the game. Francois even remarked that he and his teammates weren't trying to injure Tebow, but rather, take him out of the game., which is what basically defensive players are supposed to do. And by "take him out of the game" Big Rick probably means that Tebow is gonna get knocked the fuck out, which is to be expected when opposing quarterbacks have to deal with the herd of stampeding bison that is the LSU defensive front.

Monday, October 6, 2008

A pretty good way to spend $38 bucks in about two seconds

Chip and Pepper has some new fall university tees, so I pounced at the opp to get the white (not my fave color, but I'll rock it)tee with the elephant.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

This is a little late in coming, but here is what I think about the Tide right now.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

I just finished watching the CSS re-broadcast of the Alabama-UGA game. Yep, the Tide still won the second time around. I need to make a VHS copy of that game and label it "MB's Cheer Me Up" tape so I can watch it whenever I feel sad.

Friday, September 26, 2008

UGA fans are elated

UGA fans have pics of voluptuous, sultry, number one's dancing in their dreams after USC's dramatic interpretation of a mass fellating of a 100 ft. penis, as the Trojans dropped a quick one on the road 27-21 to the Beavers of Oregon State. UGA fans are so fucking happy that, with an impending victory over Alabam, the Dawgs could vault, no I mean hurdle over Oklahoma, in a manner akin to that of Mr. Knowshon Moreno, into the top spot in the polls. However, Blackout-infused UGA fans may want to slow that roll before going online to order Jaquizz Rodgers OSU jerseys and, instead invest in something more suited for teams in the Number One Position after 5 weeks of NCAA football.

Ahhh, yes. That shows up well on black.

Weezy F Blogger

Looks like Mr. Carter has humself a little side action blogging foe ESPN the Magazine. WEE A WEE A WEE WEE A WEE A WEE!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

They're wearing black because they're going to a funeral...

At 1:04, Bama's strength and conditioning coach quips "They're wearin' black, cuz they're goin' to a funeral." A tide fan caught this and posted it on youtube, and it's caused a stir. However, most of the Bama players probably didn't even hear that remark. It's by far the quietest thing said over the course of the video. This game has people riled up over the most pussy-assed shit. Coaches wearing black, teams wearing black, everyone commenting on the relative importance/non-improtance of UGA wearing black. UGA fans posting stupid-ass comments like "The last time the Dawgs wore black, we whooped a team from that state's ass." No, dumbass, that would be Hawaii, which is not located in Alabama. But, thanks anyway for noticing. I mean, the game should be good, and players on either team need no need for extra incentive to be overly-amped about the game. Any top 10 team that isn't excited about a top matchup with another top 10 program doesn't deserve to be there.

If you plan to talk shit, take a page out of the book of Seminole lore from the 1988 FSU "Seminole Rap. This amazing shit-talking excursion led the Seminoles, led by the rhyme stylings of Deion Sanders, to lose 31-0 in the season opener to arch rival Miami. This may be the best 80s college football video that does not involve guys named Herschel, Bo, or Barry.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

It's All About Respect

I was busy this afternoon, painting the stone exterior of my house a somber shade of black in the spirit of the week in preparation for the UGA annihilation of Bama, well maybe not that, exactly. But that being stated, I should probably black out the black out at my pad on Saturday in avoidance/celebration of this event Though not in my finest form, I must always remind everyone that Saturday is officially the first annual RESPECT THE TIDE DAY, and I hope to one day lobby to make it an official holiday in the state of Alabama, or at least my home town of Phenix City. Thanks tons, Justin for the pic, the memories and the post.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Blackout Athens

Here is a good editorial that basically expresses my sentiments regarding alternate uniforms. I felt this way last year when UGA blacked out Auburn. It's pro-tradition, but gives a nod to the UGA guys who obviously love wearing black jerseys.

Saban obviously gave props to the blackout by wearing a black Bama polo to his Monday morning press conference, though he basically said he didn't care what UGA wears. Pretty fair, kinda funny, and it helped pull the bama fans intothe spirit of the week leading up to the game, if that was at all necessary.

And, finally, Javier Arenas' response when asked if he had seen Knowshon Mareno's highlights was pretty awesome. He said, "Have you seen my highlights?" He then went on to talk about Mareno's greatness, but, he said "we'll get after him." Eloquently stated, brah.

I guess lots of us have.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Countdown To Ecstacy:Five Days and Counting

Okay, officially this is Bama-UGA hype day two. UGA is calling for a blackout and Larry Munson has retired. The cynic in me fears a ploy for one last broadcast looms, but I hope so. Munson is by far the greatest college radio commentator of all time (sorry, Eli Gold, but you're a distant second in my world.) Bama fans are screaming undefeated season (unrealistically, as usual) and UGA has been screaming No.1 since last December. Oh, and Gameday will be in Athens for the first time in about a decade, so it only adds to the hysteria. I can't wait. I'm super excited about the game, win or lose. UGA is ranked three and were preseason No. 1s, and the Tide has moved up from 24 to 8 in a span of four weeks. And, UGA fans aren't talking as much shit as I anticipated, though Alabama fans are. Anyway, nobody mentions any of the Tide's players except for a pair of linemen, one being of the offensive variety and the other lining up on the other side of the ball. I think they are interested in this one in particular.

Sorry, it's against Western Kentucky. Bigger teams take up too much space, when the subject of this post is taken into consideration.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Why Falcons fans can love SEC football this season

This was one of the worst SEC asswhippings I've seen in a while. While I think Bama executed well in most aspects of the game, I think Arkansas is totally the worst team in the SEC by far. Falcons fans should have fun watching Petrino getting his ass handed to him each week. I feel bad for Mike Smith and Jonathon Luigs, for they deserve to play for a better team.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Week Three Afterthoughts

1: USC is easily the best team in the nation right now. No reason to even debate the topic.
2: In an odd way, I kind of feel some sort of weird sympathy for Ohio State for a couple of reasons. This sentiment is weird because I detest the Buckeyes. Ohio State is caught in this odd conundrum in which the team is better than all other Big 10 teams and a safe bet to win the conference each year. However, the fans, players and Jim Tressel have to become tired of losing huge games and, not only losing, but being completely dominated in them.
3: Oklahoma is my pick to play USC in the BCS title game. The Sooners look tough, but Missouri, Kansas or Texas could probably knock Oklahoma off at some point.
4: Has somebody started yet?
5: Bama found it's offense again, albeit against the mightty Hilltoppers of Western Ky. jPW threw his fist pick, but he hit up about a million reeivers during the game. I think some of the fans were suiting up to catch passes. I want to watch the re-cast (is that a word?) on CSS if I get the chance.
6: UCLA sucks and BYU made a serious move to get that at-large BCS bowl bid.
7: How does Maryland turn around after losing to Middle Tennessee State in MTSU's barn (why go there any way?) and beat Cal? Are the Cal faithful with Tedford's squads just not showing up to play a few times each season.
8: Spurrier almost did it again against UGA. I was hella surprised, because I thought the Dawgs would get major revenge. UGA played sloppily and narrowly escaped with that one.
9: Is UNC for real?
10: The ACC continues to be a perplexing haven of mediocre football. Picking winners of ACC games could best be left up to a coin toss.
11: That being stated, Ga Tech is better than expected. The backfield duo of Jonathon Dwyer and Josh Nesbit is proving to be formidable.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Not tryin' to start beef between a frosh and Knowshon, but...

Maybe UGA fans don't watch youtube clips of lil' white boys who are freshmen at Michigan who hurdle shit all the time, but pretty much everyone else has seen this, or at least some of these clips of Sam McGuffie. Pretty awesome stuff here.

And here's a comparison contrast of Reggie Bush vs Knowshon.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Week Two late observations

Ah, I didn't get to see but about seven minutes of the re-cast of the Bama- Tulane game on CSS, but I'm happy I missed all but two plays. Alabama had zero offense with Andre Smith and Marlon Davis sitting, but Javier Arenas had an awesome 87-yard punt return td and Chris Rogers returned a blocked punt 17 yds. for another six. So, essentially, Beamer ball led the way for the Tide. Bama's defense has yet to relinquish a td, which is nice, but the offense has to regain its spark before the conference schedule, or the Tide is toast. Here's a clip of Arenas' return. I still think he's the best return man in the S.E.C., but I guess I may be a little biased regarding the matter.

Best fantasy draft ever

Chris Cooley always continues to amaze, and his fantasy draft, featuring Jason Campbell, Fred"double dong" Smoot and Colt Brennan, among Redskins is really hilarious. Thanks, Griggs and footbizzle dudes for showing this gem to me.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

I've been quiet all week, but...

This is kinda how I felt during Bama's win over Clemson.
Second best performance by a team last week- definitely. Number One with a bullet, aw naw hell naw.
We back, y'all. Buck as fuck Bama. So, to sum up last weekend, here's another audio-visual nmber for you dudes and dudettes (I mean Justin, who may be the only reader if one exists).

Nappy Roots featuring Greg Street. Song o' my summer.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

NCST must feel really shitty about right now

'Cuz South Cackalacky fuckin' blows this year. I found out about a few things while watching the Vandy-SC game at in of the frattiest environs ever. Whatev. I was wearin' my Sperrys and an old Lacoste, so shit was good. Okay here is what I learned:

a) Captain Munnerlyn will play for the Falcons one day because he has an attitude, thinks he's a big enough star that he can get multiple penalties during crucial drives and is unable to cover Vandy receivers coming of the line without holding, despite possessing a 4.35 40 time. B-to-the-ullshit on that.
b) Bobby Johnson rules
c) One team's anonymous white rb becomes another team's anonymous white rb the next week. Call it Tim Riggins syndrome, I suppose.
d) No team should attempt a pass against South Carolina this season. And this isn't because the pass defense os stellar, either.
e) Jesse Palmer is Carson Palmer's brother. Think about that one. The bartender mentioned that. Also, bartenders at sports bars that are dudes tend to know less about sports than anyone.
f) That a South Carolina- Vandy game is way more exciting than a Giants-Redskins matchup.
g) Vandy might end up as a bowl eligible team this year, and South Carolina may not.
h) Steve Spurrier can't really much recruit better players at South Carolina than Bobby Johnson can at Vandy. I bet he'll hang this gig up after this season.
i) UGA fans will root for Vandy, though Vandy embarrassed the fuck out of UGA two years ago.
j) SEC football fucking rules. Oh wait, I knew that shit since I was a wee little lad.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Bama starts three new players against Clemson

Just as everyone expected, Julius Jones will start at x (split) receiver for Bama. Don'ta Hightower will start at linebacker and all 380 lbs. of Terrence Cody will start at nose tackle, in an obvious attempt to plug Clemson's furious ground attack, featuring CJ Spiller and James Davis. Spiller and Davis may be the most wicked combo in the NCAA this year, but if not the most, they are pretty close to the top.
Bama was expected to start a freshman at linebacker, but many people thought Jerrell Harris would get the nod for the opener. However, Harris is expected to contribute immediately.
As of right now, Bama is a 5.5 pt. underdog, but the closer the game gets, the better I actually feel about the Tide's chances to take this one.

Also expect freshmen Mark Ingram, BJ Scott and Mark Barron to play in the opener.

SEC EAST Predictions

1: UGA
2: Tennessee
3: Florida
4:South Carolina
5: Ky
6: Vandy

Okay, this is probably not a popular prediction, as I pick Florida to finish third in the East for the second year in a row. Probably, it's pretty stupid, but I don't believe in Florida's defense at all. Florida lost to a very mediocre Michigan team in its last game and returns a powerful offense, for sure. A defense that gives up that many points probably needs to be located in Nebraska and not Florida, but the Gators believe their young defense will improve with age. Whatever. Either the scheme sucks or the guys just aren't that good. Possibly a combo, too.

UGA could easily land in the third spot, as could Tennessee. UGA has been picked to be everybody's national champions, so the glory may just explode in their faces in a manner remiscent of some of Ron Jeremy's sexual encounters. Tenessee has an amazing ground game, the team's best receiver returning in Lucas Taylor and a solid defense (supposedly), but it'll be up to Jonathon Crompton to see if he can lead the Vols back to the Dome and save Fats Fulmer's job.

Okay, Florida willmost likely win the fucking East, but I gotta make shit interesting.

Monday, August 25, 2008

SEC West Predictions

1: Iron Bowl Winner
2: Iron Bowl Runner Up
3: LSU
4: Ole Miss
5: Mississippi St
6: Arkansas

I'm probably the only person who has predicted in this manner, but I think the team going to the Dome in December from the West will be the winner of the Iron Bowl. LSU's qb situation is not favorable. Yes, the Baton Rouge Tigers have more talent overall than Auburn or Bama, but not having game-tested qb will hurt LSU's chances. Also, anyone who thinks LSU's defense will be better without Dorsey and Steltz probably should be writing a bunch of shit that ends in eaux.

Ole Miss will be much improved with Nutt as coach. Believe that.

Mississippi St. is due a reality check.

Arkansas will probably beat a team the Hags shouldn't, but Petrino probably needs a year or two to really get shit poppin.'

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Don't fuck with Jamaica

Damn, first bolt and now Melaine Walker. Fucking Amazing, ain't it? And I'm not just talking about the faux-hawkish do.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Can't hardly fucking wait

Bama will play Clemson on August 30 in the Georgia Dome, but I, like every other Tide fan eagerly await the debut of top high school receiving prospect Julio Jones (pictured above). If JPW can get him the ball, lovely things may happen. However, Jones has a ton of expectations awaiting him, which may be more than the freshman can handle.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

It's about that time

I'm totally prepared.

Friday, August 8, 2008

BReaking down Bama vs Clemson

Okay, in the upcoming three weeks, the Bama-Clemson matchup in the Ga Dome will be hyped, hyper-analyzed and overhyped, but I thought it would be nice to analyze another side of the matchup, and that would be the level of humanitarianism possessed by both teams. First, look at the obvious underdog in this matchup, Alabama and the Tide's treatment of Tyrone Prothro post-injury. Many cynical SEC fans wondered whether Bama's hallowed receiver would be stripped of his scholarship once Nick Saban became head coach. Prothro remained with the team and graduated last week. He is reportedly working for the school, though my sources were unclear as to what his role at the university entails.

On the flipside, Clemson had a feel-good situation turn sour when the school notified surrogate parent, student-athlete amazing big bro Ray Ray Mcelrathbey was informed that his athletic scholarship was needed after graduation, though he has eligibility left. Clemson did establish a fund for Rey Rey's little brother, but needed to make space for more talent. Any way you look at it, Clemson comes out looking mediocre in the long haul, after delivering the feel-good story of two season ago.

The clear winner here is Bama, though Prothro and Ray Ray come out ahead having graduated.

Congrats, No. 4! This is the amazing catch people will remember for generations.

Monday, August 4, 2008

R.I.P. Skip

Saturday, August 2, 2008

And the Heisman Most Likely Goes To...

Barring injury, Chris "Beanie"Wells has this shit locked down. All he needs is a decent performance against USC and the remainder remains simplistic. Yep, this trophy ain't staying in the Sec for two years in a row.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Hated on Mostly posted a conference by conference list of the team in each conference hated most by the other teams and fans in the conference. In the PAC 10, USC was the team most hated, The Big 10 (and everyone else) loathes Ohio State, and the SEC hates Alabama. I wasn't surprised by ESPN posting that Bama was the most hated team, because ESPN loves to hate upon Alabama and revel in Bama's recent mediocrity which is due mostly to probation combined with a string of average to below-average coaches (Saban not included). However, I really wonder which SEC teams other than Auburn, LSU and Tennessee really hate Bama.
Here is my SEC ranking of hatred for other teams with one being most hated and 13 being most loved (UGA gets ranked twice).
1: Tennessee- Phil Fulmer is the biggest contributor to Bama's misery. But I watched The Wire, so I know what happens to snitches.
2:(tie) LSU- LSU has really only been good since the Saban era. I hated Saban when he was at LSU because his teams were so good. Now, I gotta hope he brings the same talent to Bama.
3: Florida- Florida is super fucking obnoxious, and really good, obviously. Bama actually has performed decently against Florida since the SEC began hosting a championship game, but UF definitely holds the advantage. It also seems that UF is here to stay, the team is some defacto team for people from places like New Jersey and the Midwest and some Florida fans scare the shit outta me.
4: Over-zealous, fair-weather UGA fans: UGA has been consistently good since Mark Richt has been head coach. However, this particular group of UGA fans is quick to proclaim that a team is a "national title contender," talks tons of shit, has no sense of UGA football history and never sees players from other teams as being as valuable as UGA players and always declare players Heisman worthy, even if they aren't (hey, hey DJ Shockley). This group of fans always deserts the team when the Dawgs lose two games for the remainder of the season. However, many UGA fans fall into a cool, realistically loyal category that I love and respect from any college program. Also, every SEC team possesses this type of fan. I fucking hate this particular breed of fan, regardless of the team. However, I live in Athens, so I deal with this shit on a regular basis.
5: Auburn: The days are over when I hated Auburn more than any other aspect of life. Many of the Auburn players, like myself, are from the state of Alabama, so it makes it impossible for me to hate the players. However, like every other Bama fan, I recognize the Iron Bowl as the most important game each season. Six years of losing is a really long time, ya know?
6: Six is tough, but I guess I need to list Arkansas here. Arkansas is a West rival and a team to always fear, even though the Razorbacks will probably suck this year. Okay, I don't hate Arkansas
7: South Carolina: Why is South Carolina in the SEC again?
8: Ole Miss: I dunno, I love the uniforms, but Ole Miss is just, well, Ole Miss.
9: Mississippi State: Despite back-to-back wins over Bama, it's easy to get behind Sly Croom's recent triumphs. This year, the Bulldogs will re-enter reality
10: Kentucky: I dislike Kentucky basketball sometimes, but how do you hate the semi-hapless Wildcats?
11: Vanderbilt: If you hate vandy, you fucking suck.
12: UGA (in actuality): Most of UGA's players rule and it's fucking fun to go to Georgia games. Also, living in a college town like Athens just enhances the energetic feeling I associate with waking up on football Saturdays in the fall each year. By far, home football Saturdays in Athens are the best days of the year. However, the fans I mention in #4 can almost ruin the greatness at times.
13: Roll Tide!!!!!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Post No. 101 is about junior tennis

Since I will embark upon my first season as a girls' high school tennis coach next spring, I found the following article to be of extremely high interest:
Girl ejected as dad tries to coach her through earpiece

Wellington, New Zealand — An 8-year-old girl was ejected from a junior tennis tournament on New Zealand's South Island when officials discovered she was wearing a radio earpiece to receive instructions from her father.

Tournament referee Rob Wilkinson said officials became suspicious because the match involving Ukranian-born Anastasiya Korzh featured a "heightened number of questioned calls."

Officials found the earpiece hidden under the girl's headband, linked by a cord to a receiver under her shirt, The Press newspaper reported.

Korzh's father said the earpiece was only being used to help the girl keep score in the under-10 tournament.

She was playing in her first tournament.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

All Hail JPW

So, John Parker Wilson's mediocrity to this point finally earned him Preseason All-SEC Honors as Third Team QB. Although, he hasn't played like an All-SEC qb, his stats are not too far behind Second-Teamer Matthew Stafford, who some people think is a dark horse in the Heisman Trophy sweepstakes. So, go figure. I think this could be John Parker's Chris Leak year, meaning he can make all Bama fans think twice about bad-mouthing him for the past two years. On the other hand, it could be his Reggie Ball year, meaning that he could finish his career at Bama having never beaten his major rival. Hopefully, he'll manage the game and win a few more games this season, rather than toss costly picks or commit fumbles that result in losses.

Other Bama players making the Preseason All-SEC team were gargantuan left tackle and future top-five draft pick Andre Smith ( 1st team, duh), underrated db Rashad Johnson (2nd team), speedy rb Terry Grant (3rd team), linebacker Rolando McClain (2nd team), senior center Antoine Caldwell (2nd team),return specialist, db Javier Arenas (2nd team, though I would take him over Brandon James any day), and kicker Leigh Tiffin (3rd team).

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

It's on like NoSHAUN!

Thanks to j.r. suicide for the nod as well as for sending me the link, for I couldn't find the shirt last night. Hilarious!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Bama vs Clemson Tix

Tickets for Bama's opener in the Ga Dome against Clemson are selling from $130-$420 per ticket , depending upon how close fans feel they need to be to the action. One vendor can be found here.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Tebow Wears Crocs!

Forget any stupid jorts comments for the upcoming football season. His Manliness himself is pictured here breaking the cardinal rule of Studliness by wearing crocs. I guess he's preparing for his future career as a stay-at-home dad. Tebow? Crocs? Jeesh! I mean I can just envision this pic being blown up to actual size to serve as inspiration for The Gators opponents this season. All that opposing coaches have to say is, "I mean do you want to be remembered as the huy who was flattened by the dude who wore crocs?"

Actually, I'm pretty sure every UF male fan is rocking crocs with jorts this weekend.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Friday, July 4, 2008

NCAA Football 09

Just seeing the cover for this game makes me want to go out, buy an XBox, and spend the rest of the summer running from the Wild Hog formation.

Happy 4th of July, dudes...Here's some American lore for ya

Monday, June 30, 2008

Wimbledon observations from Week One

1: Venus Williams should win the women's tournament if she continues to play as she did during the first week. A 127 mph serve is incredible, but the fact that it happened on her final first serve of the match is even more amazing.
2: Federer will probably win the men's draw again. Despite looking a little shaky in the firt match or so, he really turned it on by the end of the week.
3: Andy Murray is a sleeper. He's my dark horse, not to win, but to be a dark horse.
4: Andy Murray's brother looks awesome.
5: American families need to invest more in tennis lessons for their kids. American men are nothing but a pimple on the arse of the tennis world.
6: With Anna Ivanovic and Maria Sharapova out, I guess the time is nigh to pull for Nicole Vaidisova.
7: It seems as if Ivanovic's stay at number one may be short lived. Damn!
8: Women's tennis is by far the most interesting professional sport at the moment, and it has been amazing for the past several years. Yeah, I just wrote that in all sincerity.

In Loving Memory of...

He would have been nine next month. UGA VI, I know there will always be an air conditioned dog house, a legion of admiring beautiful Southern belles in waiting and a bag of ice larger than an earthly mind can comprehend awaiting you in doggy heaven. Oh wait, didn't you already have these things in Athens?

Seriously, Athens was darkened Saturday by news of the most recent UGAs passing. He'll definitely be missed. not only by Dawg fans, but SEC and NCAA football fans in general.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

So, my flight landed at Hartsfield Jackson Airport, and I received a text from J.R. Suicide telling me that Jimmy Johns had been arrested for selling cocaine. I was pretty astonished by this bit of news, due to the fact that Johns, while having academic and on-field problems, had seemed to be free of trouble off the field. Like many Bama fans my initial reaction, after just saying "Damn," was to label Johns as a Shula recruit (which is true) but a bit of a copout. Shula is not responsible for Johns selling cocaine, nor is Nick Saban. Coaches can set rules for the team to follow and discipline athletes who choose to break the rules. In Johns' case, I must say that Saban's decision to immediately dismiss the player is the right thing to do at the time.

It's always a sad day to see a player destroy the chance to continue to play college football while earning a degree. Whether the football portion of the college experience lives up to the athlete's expectations can become a moot point if the student is able to obtain a diploma. Upstanding athletes who earn degrees allot themselves a chance at future success in later life. Clearly, the University of Alabama is embarrassed by the incident as is the program and its fans. But really, Johns is the person who will suffer the consequences of his actions as determined by the legal system. The whole situation is a total bummer.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I can't believe I wasted $7.00 on this garbage

I recently purchased the 2008 Athlon Sports Southeastern Preview in eager anticipation of the upcoming football season (only 72 days remain before August 30). While I found Athlon's All-American selections to be sensible and the team-by-team breakdowns in the conference overview to be logical and informative, the method Athlon used to rank all 119 teams is deplorable. Athlon surveyed each team's schedule and then recorded not only the numbers of wins and losses but also the number of swing games a team might have. So, Florida is ranked No. 1 by virtue of a 9-0-3 record. Oregon State, on the other hand, is ranked 61 with a hypothetical 0-9-3 record. The problem to this ranking system is obvious: ties do not exist in college football. Being an intensely interested college football fan, I would like to know a little more about my team's chances for the upcoming season than that the team for which I am rooting may lose to three teams with which it always struggles. Here is the Athlon Top 10:
1: Florida (9-0-3)
2:Ohio State (9-0-3)
3:Oklahoma (11-0-1)
4:USC (9-0-3)
5:Georgia (7-0-5)
6:Missouri (9-0-3)
7:West Virginia (10-0-2)
8:Auburn (9-0-3)
9:LSU (9-0-3)
10:Clemson (10--0-2)
11:Texas (7-0-5)
12:Wisconsin (9-0-3)
13:Kansas (7-1-4)
14:BYU (10-0-2)
15:Arizona State (8-0-4)
16:Illinois (7-0-5)
17:Tennessee (8-1-3)
18:Texas Tech (9-1-2)
19:Oregon (10-0-2)
20: South Florida (9-1-2)

After viewing these rankings, it's obvious that Athlon's predictions are flawed in that, according to the system's logic, Oklahoma should be ranked in the one spot coming into the season and Auburn should be ranked ahead of Georgia. Illinois and Georgia should be ranked alongside one another, but no, in ultimately deciding the rankings, it seems that Athlon basically mirrored the actions of the other major publications and just switched the order of the top teams a bit. While Athlon's efforts at attaining individuality in ranking teams should be lauded, the overall result is flawed in print .

Monday, June 9, 2008

What makes Bama legends so damn drunk all the time?

Seems that the Snake received his third dui recently. I hope this photo is used in court in support of his general sobriety.

Controversial high school baseball video

Here is a clip of Stephen's County pitcher Cody Martin, brother of Dodgers' 1st round draft pick Ethan Martin, hitting the umpire in the mask with a pitch. The catcher ducks and the umpire is hit. There is a great deal of controversy surrounding this clip, and the umpire is considering legal action. More here from the AJC...

Thursday, June 5, 2008


In accordance with my francophile tendencies, Gael Monfils (pronounced Monfiis) has made the French Open semis, where he'll face Roger Federer tomorrow. Hopefully, he'll pull off the upset. Monfils has kind of been a favorite player of mine since I first saw him two French Opens ago, sporting long braids and looking crunk as fuck. After that, he's kind of fallen off the map a little after suffering injury-related setbacks to his game. However, he seemed unfazed as he dismissed the world's number five player David Ferrer in four sets.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Tuberville throws up the sevens

Apparently, while on his recent tour of the Middle East, Tommy Tuberville was photographed with some troops. Nothing is outstanding about the photo, other than the fact that Tuberville was flashing seven fingers. Now, one of my Atl-minded high schoolers would have immediately thought that some old white man was tryin' to be all hood and shit and representin' a zone that doesn't exist. The Iron Bowl doesn't exist in their minds, which may be a good thing. To Bama fans, Auburn fans and other SEC fans, nobody had to ask what this meant. Apparently, some Bama fans believed the show of seven fingers to be a classless act, but Tuberville acknowledged that he was just having some fun with Auburn's six-game win streak against the Tide. I thik that Tuberville is right on. Nick Saban, Bama players and fans all know when the last time Bama beat Auburn was, and that Dennis Franchione was the coach. So, what's the big deal. Auburn has earned the right to flash the fingers, and shit, I'll be happy if Auburn fans don't start walking around in bare feet in an effort to demonstrate the correct number of wins. Okay, here's the link

Thursday, May 29, 2008

I heart the French Open

Here's French Open hopeful and last year's junior champion Alize Cornet! I'm glad she's 18 now so I don't feel like the Larry Clark of sportsbloggers for posting her. She has a toughie tomorrow, to say the least.

Note: Ms. Cornet lost today.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

MFing Arthur Blank

Okay, the Atlanta Falcons have now officially taken reign as the stupidest franchise in the realm of professional sports. 72 million dollars for a guy who threw 20 picks last year and was ranked near Brandon Cox and John Parker Wilson in efficiency rating. Arthur Blank is retarded. He should stick to helping curb the whale shark and beluga whale population in Atlanta while continuing to help grown, married men become more whipped than previously ever imagined.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Spotted Courtside

at the New Orleans-San Antonio game tonight...It's Bunk!
Maybe it wasn't him. I only caught a quick glance, but whatever.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Shawty you da Shit

Honestly, I knew Chris Paul was a badass when he punched Julius Hodge in the balls, and I have always been a person who feels that the Hawks not taking Paul in the draft was a bigger mistake than the Falcons letting Favre go. And I'm not gonna argue that Paul deserves the MVP over Kobe Bryant. Both players are amazing and have had amazing seasons. Granted, I have never liked Kobe, but the dude is deserving of the MVP, as is Paul. However, with moves like the one he pulled off in last night's loss to the Spurs (pictured in the clip above), it seems that neither the MVP honor or the league title will evade Mr. Paul for very long. To be succint, he fucking rules.
So, here is the tribute video, though the Dream is picturing a fine black woman, rather than a 23-year old basketball genius when he croons on this one. Enjoy your Friday night fellas, and when she makes you eggs and grits in the mornin' you should tip her.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

This one goes out to everyone who thinks Bobby Petrino will completely flop at Arkansas

Arkansas' starting offense put up 603 total yards, including 404 yds. passing for Casey Dick (no that is not a typo). Mike Smith, who will replace McFadden and Jones in the backfield had 157 yds on the game. It seems that Petrino is going to bring his usual high scoring thunder to the Hawgs, which will pose problems for SEC West teams in upcoming years. The big question is whether his defenses will be able to stop anyone. Obviously, the 603 yds. was achieved against second-tier defenders, but those totals are huge for a Spring Game. More on the game here

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Maybe Andre Woodson and DJ Hall get to practice together

Hey, so what do John Parker Wilson and DJ Hall have in common?
A: They'll both never get chosen in the NFL draft.
On Monday, The reigning NFL champions The New York Giants signed Alabama uber-asshole, I mean stud wide-receiver, Martinez "DJ" Hall, allowing him to entire the quagmire of the lower tier of the Giants receiving corps. Man, he may even have a chance at making the team by mid-season.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Draft day is no longer exciting for 2008

Psyche. But, I'm kind of disappointed that the Dolphins avoided any type of hyped ceremonial signing of their No. 1 overall draft pick Jake Long and ended all speculation of draft analysts by going ahead and signing the OT today. I would assume that this move would be wise, considering the fact that Miami's OL has sucked balls for the past few seasons.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I've been lost

I haven't caught up since Final Four Weekend, for I was too depressed to write a word about the tourney after Carolina and the Memphis lost. i lost too and I puked. Since then, here is what has kept me busy sports-wise:
a: GDay on April 5. A rainy Gday game brings out 50,000 fewer fans than were expected. The Dawgs looked solid in the rain, and I got to see Caleb King and Richard Samuel carry the ball.
b: Final Four Pukefest. Carolina lost, I lost money and the gumbo I had just eaten. Too much whiskey, beer and birthday cake shots can ruin a man at midnight.
c: Braves-Mets on April 5 at Turner Field. Man, I woke up after puking the night before to the glorious news that Smoltz would be facing Santana. The day was a little overcast but lovely, the game was awesome and the Braves won 3-1 after Smoltz pitched brilliantly.
d: NCAA Championship: The game ended in such a fashion that I had to get all psychedelic and shit.
e: I've been playing tennis and shooting hoops again
f: ADay. Oh yeah, isn't this blog supposed to be about Bama football? I was in NYC, so I didn't make it to ADay, but 73,000 other people managed to come out for the April 12th intrasquad game. After watching the replay, I am a little optimistic about Bama's chances against the tougher teams. The defense looks aggressive, the receivers (Darius Hanks, rep) seem very capable and Terry Grant, Rashad Johnson and Andre Smith (duh) seem ready to play the season this week. Greg Mcelroy looks like a solid backup and Roy Upchurch looks good as usual. Earl Alexander may be a nice fit at wide receiver, too. I dunno. I still think this Crimson Tide team has a long way to go, but I think Saban is turning the team around. Probably more slowly than Bama fans want, but fucking deal with it, dudes.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I can't believe I missed this when it aired

Saying goodbye to the Nature Boy

and pt.2 featuring the 4 Horsemen, Animal, Ricky Steamboat, Harley Race, Greg The Hammer Valentine, Dean Malenko, Chris Jerricho, his family and John Cena.

And in closing...

Now Flair can continue giving motivational speeches to the UF basketball team

Sunday, March 30, 2008

The Greatest Sporting Event of All Time

This will give you a gambling option after your bracket has burst.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Fuck your brackets!

Man, I'm so tired of hearing my co-worker talk about how he is going to win the NCAA tourney Pick'em I put together if Xavier makes it to the Final Four. Man, I could really give a fuck. Two of my three remaining Calcutta teams went out last night, leaving UNC to either win money for my partner and me, or lose everything. Man, having your bracket burst when you have $10 invested is nothing compared to dropping few hundred which is nothing compared to what degenerate gamblers do on a weekly basis, so my superior attitude is bullshit. Anyway, Davidson survives with the entire student body and Lebron James watching the game in Detroit. Wisconsin never exploited its size advantage and entered a shooting battle. Texas' guard play demolished Stanford and Memphis straight destroyed Michigan State. If Memphis can get by Texas, I do have a great chance of winning the other pool I entered, but then again, $60 ain't shit.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Thoughts on Round Two of the NCAA tourney

The 2nd round of the 2008 NCAA tourney was nothing short of stunning. Nothing like last year's event, to say the least. Stanford vs Marquette was a major nailbiter, as was the Texas A&M-UCLA match-up. The Tennessee-Butler game was exactly what I expected, and even my liking of Butler did not dissuade me from picking Tennessee. I knew that shit would go the distance, though. Georgetown fucked up bigtime. And, Michigan State finally decided to play some ball. Most people were sucking Pitt off with good reason (including kenniebloggins), and it's sad to see LaVance Fields and co. go home. But man, fuck it, when a team is hot, they are fucking on fire and that is the MSU Spartans. West Fucking Virginia beat Duke and I can't believed I choked on picking them. Good fucking team. And, of the one seeds, UNC was by far the hottest in the second round. They just blew the fuck past a tough Arkansas squad. Washington St. looks hot too, but those hippies probably need to begin thinking about next season. Louisville was sick against Oklahoma. So after two rounds, I am sweet upon the following teams:
UNC, Stanford and Michigan St. (due to monetary concerns)
West Fucking Virginia (cuz Huggins loves West Fucking Va.)
Kansas and UCLA (duh)
and Davidson, just because... (Sorry Hoyas, you guys fucked my bracket)...
and I'm giving Tennessee some love, too. The Tennessee-Louisville game should be incredible.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

All Hail Michael Beasley

Thoughts from Day One of the 2008 NCAA Tournament...
1: If your season starts with a loss at home to Mercer, it should justifiably end with being upset by Kansas State. It's okay OJ Mayo, if you stay next year, maybe you can room with Lil Romeo.
2: Belmont is in Tennessee, if you are still wondering. They also need to learn a new inbounds play or two.
3: Georgia can't trick teams in the MIdwest by playing slowed down 1980s era high schoolesque basketball.
4: Kansas looks pretty damn ready to go far.
5: Purdue and Michigan State are playing better than anticipated. Pitt and Stanford look good.
6: Kent sucks.
7: Duke is not a good tournament team any more.
8: Who gives a fuck about Dionte Christmas?
9: Why does Coach K always dress the same? For like, ever. Does he go swimming in that suit?
10: West Virginia is playing pretty well at the moment, despite being coached by Bob Huggins. Seniors on the team will never graduate. That is almost a fact, as far as Huggins is concerned.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

They were staring at the dark, but their eyes were watching God.

This is one of the weirdest sports moments I have ever witnessed. Amazing game, and this happens. The game was delayed an hour and Bama came out cold. Mississippi State prevailed, but Mark Gottfried's wife is still hot. Man, he has some damn kids doesn't he? I was downtown watching it, and nobody knew what happened due to there being no sound on the television. A quick call to my pops confirmed the weather situation, and I passed the word along to my newly-met Bama found comrade.

Once again, this may be the best SEC basketball tournament ever. I'm locking myself in my house for the next three weeks. fuk all y'all. I'm in this shit to win it.

Why I love this motherfucking month so much

Man, UGA beats Kentucky in overtime, even without Sundiata Gaines. Shit was played at Tech, without fans and only families and cheerleaders in attendance. The SEC may have sucked during regular season, but the tourney rocks it.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Yah Bitch Yah!

Bama sent Flo-ri-da reeling tonight. See you in the NIT, bitch. Damn, at one point, I thought Prothro was gonna check in.
Actually, Florida gave Bama a huge scare after being down by 26.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

lol ballers...I has me some websites and Kevin Love some shameless self promotion

If you are feeling the onset of March Madness and have yet to actually watch any basketball games, perhaps you'll want to visit this website to familiarize yourself with one of this year's crop of freshmen whose name you'll hear increasingly as long as he decides to stay in college (dig this dudes... He's big, he's white and he's good, so you'll be led to think he's the next Lew Alcindor until he turns pro and becomes mediocre). Actually, I was thinking of Tyler Hansbrough, and since Love was just named Pac-10 Player of the Year and Pac-10 Freshman of the Year, so he's probably declaring for the draft in about three weeks. So, get ready for KEVIN LOVE, the UCLA frosh decided that it was crucial to have his own website where readers may find out the following tidbits about his life:
a: He's Mike Love's nephew and cousins of Brian, the late Dennis and the late Carl Wilson, so he is eligible to join Beach Boys Family and Friends Version 2.0
b: His dad is former Oregon and NBA baller Stan Love.
C: His Aunt Cathleen McCarthy (Hearst) won the Women's 1982 Ironman Competition

And, then on his home page, we find out the really crucial facts surrounding Kevin Love's life:
Kevin Love has shown a skill level that is absolutely unheard of amongst big men in the college ranks—knocking down NBA 3-pointers with ease, putting the ball on the floor with either hand, using pump-fakes, spin-moves, jump-stops and creating his own shot with fantastic footwork. He’s rebounding the ball well, throwing beautiful outlet passes, contesting shots around the basket, and even coming up with a few blocks on occasion.
Kevin Love’s body looks better and better every time we see him, as he’s shed a good amount of weight and is now probably only 10 pounds or so away from being in optimal shape. Kevin Love can’t necessarily be called an athletic player, but playing next to or going up against physically gifted big men like Brook Lopez, Steven Hill and Robert Dozier, he has looked absolutely fine and has not had a problem doing whatever he wants out on the floor.

Scouting Obviously having benefitted from being the son of former NBAer and Oregon Duck Stan Love, Kevin Love is so advanced in his post moves he'd start for most Pac-10 schools right now. Physically he looks like he could still develop, with a good body and square shoulders. If he continues to grow and his athleticism continues to improve, he might not play college basketball. A top ten national player for 2007.

All of this is listed without any hint of irony or humor. I know Love isn't writing this material, but I really wish he were. I could see him, drinking Vitamin Water, still wearing practice gear as a bead of sweat trickles off his forehead and rests upon his chinstrap beard as he sits poised pensively in front of his 24-inch monitored IMac. He's thinking to himself, "What amazing shit can I write about Kevin Love that already hasn't been written." Oh, wait, I'll just post that youtube clip of me breaking a backboard in high school. That was pretty cool. Yeah, I'll post that."

Actually, I found the site while looking for a google image of Love with his chinstrap beard. Needless to say, I was enthralled.

Here's that youtube clip of him breaking that backboard:

Goodnight sweet Shaun Alexander?

Earlier this week, Seattle signed Cowboys starting running back Julius Jones to a four-year deal worth about three million dollars per year. Last week, the Seahawks also signed TJ Duckett to a multi-year deal. Is Shaun Alexander on his way out in Seatown? Probably so, would be my guess. Alexander has been injured during a large portion of the past two seasons, and his contract is astronomical. When his thirty years of age are added into the equation, it makes total sense for Seattle to cut their former stud rb. The most interesting part of Jones' departure from Dallas is that the Cowboys are left with Marion Barber as a lone number one running back. It seems likely that Jerry Jones obsession with drafting Darren McFadden may come to fruition if the Cowboys can trade up in the draft to be in a position to draft DMac. I'm not really the biggest Cowboys fan in the world, but it would be pretty awesome for McFadden to actually play for a professional team that is perennial in the national spotlight.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Bama fans are always eloquent when pontificating upon their love of Tennessee

My friends Jeff and Dana, who have been known to have romantic interludes with one another from time to time, sent me this clip (independently of one another), which features a Bama fan eloquently pledging his complete hatred of Tennessee. This clip has made the rounds of the major sports blogs recently, and I am being a total bandwagoneer by posting it here. However, I am definitely inviting the Bama fan over to my apartment on the third Saturday of October this year to discuss Tennessee's colors as well as the pulchritde of Neyland Stadium.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

A little late...

So, Bama's men's basketball team ended the regular season on a high note, beating 16th-ranked Vanderbilt 78-73 in overtime. Mykal Riley went crazy in overtime to lift the Tide. Now, Bama faces the Commodores in the first round of the SEC tourney next week. I'm a little dismayed with the win, because, realistically, Bama has an almost zero chance of winning the SEC tournament, and Vandy's seeding in the NCAA tournament will be damaged by the loss. Since Bama sucks this year, Vandy defacto SEC for which I will cheer in the coming weeks.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I'll be Sweding the last 15 years or so of Alabama games...

Be Kind Rewind is really awesome and it gave me an idea for college sports...If you don't like the outcome of a game, make it sweded (which means film it your way.) I'll most likely be making the past decade or so of Alabama losses "sweded" on this site in the near future...
Here's the trailer for the movie. File this under "highly recommended." (not the trailer, but the film.)


Man, I really fucking hate the ESPN greatest highlight poll. Who cares? How can an amazing highlight from one sport be superlative to one from another. Cross-sports polls are the stupidest things ever invented. When I was a kid, ESPN was awesome. I could watch CFL football, AWA wrestling, monster truck rallies, bass fishing, and replays for days of college football games. It was the best thing ever. Now, instead, we get to watch tripe such as "Who's the Most Now," and "Which highlight is the greatest," and Cold Pizza, which is totally girly now that Woody is gone (not that I endorse Woody). Sports used to be for dudes who liked sports. Over the past, I dunno, 25 years or so, ESPN has slowly made sports something that belongs on E! or something that total douchebags who never even played tee-ball feel like kings, because it is a network created by and for douchebags. Not that this is news to anyone, but I felt a rant coming on and I needed to take full advantage of the situation.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Why Darren Mcfadden should be an Atl. Falcon

So, it's official. The Falcons will have the 3rd overall pick in the 2008 NFL draft. Hopefully, the Falcons will select a player who will not only help the team's chances of improving in the immediate future but also will help fill the superstar void left by the dismissal/imprisonment of Michael Vick. That player, most sensibly, is Darren McFadden. Here are a few reasons why the Falcons should select D-Mac on Draft Day.
A: McFadden is from Arkansas, and Arkansas is in the SEC. Georgians tend to love SEC football, and McFadden is the league's biggest available superstar and best offensive prospect.
B: Mike Smith comes from run-oriented and defensive-minded Jacksonville. He has witnessed how a two-back run-oriented system can help a strong defensive unit win football games. At Jacksonville, the Jags have Maurice Jones-Drew and Fred Taylor. In Atlanta, he could potentially have Jerious Norwood and McFadden. This combo could be potentially one of the most awesome in the NFL, and would give Falcons fans a reason to come back to the Dome.
C: By drafting McFadden, the Falcons could allow Warrick Dunn to leave and finish his career for a team which might have a chance of winning the Super Bowl. Dunn's been a great player for Atlanta, but he deserves to finish his career on a winning team.
D: McFadden is an automobile afficionado, as demonstrated here. I cannot even imagine what his Atl. hood ride might look like.
E: McFadden has been known to get into altercations at clubs, and what better city exists to get into club brawls than Atlanta? Okay, bad reason.
F: He got that wood!

Seriously, if the Falcons draft wisely and take McFadden, I'll immediately go out and buy a Mcfadden jersey and then proceed to get as drunk as possible and go to as many Falcons home games as possible while he's with the team. Shit, I may even move to Atlanta jut to say I live in the same city as McFadden. However, I see a defensive player or qb as the Falcons future number one selection.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

When sport are getting boring, watch some dance videos

This is a clip of a drunken Jamaican woman having a misstep during a dutty wine competiton. Don't laugh too hard, though. This dance is dangerous. One late night a few weeks ago S. and I were having dance club practice and I was trying to learn the dutty wine with her. I'm not supposed to even be doing this dance, for it's a woman's dance (though there is a similar dance for dudes, which may even have the same name). We had been practicing for about 20 minutes or so when the accident occurred. It happened at the point where the dancer begins frantically swinging her (or in my case his) head. I swung to the right and S. swung hers to the left and my teeth hit her scalp. I was knocked out on the floor and she had a gigantic bruise on the top of her head. Pretty awesome. Essentially, the accident brought an end to dance club.

Here is how the dance should look... This is the Tony Matterhorn video.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Nothing beats seeing Hillary Clinton getting laid out by Scottie Pippen

It's hard to argue with the awesomeness of NBA Jam, especially when the Clintons are taking on the Bulls. Yeah, the Bullets sucked back then, but did they have to resort to signing the President of the United States and the First Lady. Wouldn't complimentary first-row seats be enough? Now if the Lakers had only signed Jack Nicholson and the Knicks signed Spike Lee, the NBA would have been even more awesome in the 1990s.

Aubie and Big Al Unite for Literacy

Apparently, the best motivation to spark the reading interest of youngsters in the state of Alabama is to unite the two rivalry schools' mascots in a statewide literacy campaign. On the site, teachers may also download coloring book pages featuring Aubie and Big Al wearing the famous hat worn by none other than dr. Seuss' Cat in the Hat. No, the two mascots aren't going to a rave circa 1991, but hopefully, this campaign will engender a more-literate Iron Bowl in future years. However, someone should probably inform the AEA that being literate is usually not synonymously viewed by Alabamans with winning the Iron Bowl.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Nothing is quite like a little friendly gridiron competition between two teams of skanky women with nothing to lose

This week's episode of Rock of Love featured a powder puff football game played on a muddy field with faux snow, wind and rain piped in throughout the action. I wanted to post some clips, but I can't find anything yet. Still, I think I could get into an entire season of Mud Bowl. I mean, what is better two teams of skanks woman playing poweder-puff football? Oh yeah, hot skanks playing powder puff. Okay, the lingerie bowl may be better and this is definitely better.

The link for rock of love is here

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Julio Jones to testify

So, Julio Jones will most likely testify in a murder trial, and no, he's not a suspect. He's supposed to testify for the prosecution. More
Also, by viewing the comments thread, both Auburn and Bama fans need to take classes in both sensitivity training and, fuck, I dunno, anti-racism. I understand that the rivalry between Alabama and Auburn is forever-intense, but to stoop to racial stereotyping and degrading a kid (albeit an amazing football prospect) based upon where he lives is fucking ridiculous. A person is not automatically a thug or a poor student because he or she comes from an an area with high rates of both crime and poverty. If that were the case, the Williams sisters would be the most thugged out tennis players in the history of the game (and everybody knows that Martina Hingis and Jennifer Capriati have that shit on lock for the last two decades.) So, read the comments thread and prepare not to be astonished.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

NSD...One Week Later

So, I allowed almost a whole week to elapse before writing a post about national signing day. Alabama was ranked number one nationally by both Rivals and Scout after landing wide-receiver man-child Julio Jones in a rather subdued nationally televised signing moment. In one day, Nick Saban landed more four and five star recruits than Mike Shula did during his entire tenure with the school. Granted, this is the first year in the past five years that Bama has been at full-scholarship potential, due to hardship engendered by a lengthy probation period. Therefore Alabama was able to sign more recruits than some of its competitors. My biggest concern of this stellar recruiting class has nothing to do with with players, whether new or current. The biggest issue rests with the Tide/Saban nation. If everyone will chill the fuck out, ride out this season and not expect a miracle, awesome things should happen. If Bama fans go fucking apeshit, then the bottom will drop out of this motherfucker and my 11-month old nephew will be a grown ass man before Alabama's football team is anywhere near a perennial powerhouse. So, let's fucking stay cool and see what happens. 'kay?

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

The most important day of 2008

You probably thought this post was going to be about how I made it to my voting location and cast my ballot for the candidate of my choice in the primary at 7:00 a.m. this morning (which did happen.) Nope, it's about a day far more important, and that day just so happens to fall the day after Super Tuesday this year. National signing day is upon us, and Alabama supposedly has a top 4 or top 9 recruiting class coming to Tuscaloosa next season. Top-rated wide receiver Julio Jones from Foley, Alabama, will sign with the school of his choice tomorrow, so if Bama does get him, people will be very excited. Even without Jones, Bama still has its best class since being placed on probation. Here is the list of commitments thus far:

Burton Scott ATH 5-11 194 Vigor H.S. (AL) ATH #1 84 Verbal
Courtney Upshaw DE 6-2 225 Eufaula H.S. (AL) DE #4 83 Verbal
Tyler Love OT 6-7 280 Mountain Brook H.S. (AL) OT #1 83 Verbal
Kerry Murphy DT 6-5 320 Hargrave Military Academy PG 81 Verbal
Chris Jackson ATH 6-0 187 Henry County H.S. (GA) ATH #14 80 Verbal
Mark Ingram RB 5-10 190 Southwestern Academy (MI) RB #16 80 Verbal
Melvin Ray WR 6-2 185 North Florida Christian H.S. (FL) WR #23 80 Verbal
Chris Jordan OLB 6-2 201 Brentwood H.S. (TN) OLB #20 80 Verbal
Destin Hood WR 6-2 185 Saint Pauls Episcopal School (AL) WR #31 80 Verbal
Mark Barron ATH 6-2 202 Saint Pauls Episcopal School (AL) ATH #19 80 Verbal
Devonta Bolton WR 6-3 220 Norcross H.S. (GA) WR #33 80 Verbal
Robby Green CB 6-0 175 John Curtis Christian H.S. (LA) CB #15 80 Verbal
Alonzo Lawrence CB 6-1 187 George County H.S. (MS) CB #17 80 Verbal
Ivan Matchett RB 5-10 206 Saint Pauls Episcopal School (AL) RB #31 79 Verbal
John Michael Boswell OT 6-6 290 Tuscaloosa County H.S. (AL) OT #19 79 Verbal
Brandon Lewis DE 6-3 260 Pleasant Valley H.S. (AL) DE #21 79 Verbal
Damion Square DE 6-3 265 Jack Yates H.S. (TX) DE #24 79 Verbal
Star Jackson QB 6-3 182 Lake Worth H.S. (FL) QB #22 79 Verbal
Michael Williams DE 6-6 240 Pickens County H.S. (AL) DE #26 79 Verbal
Barrett Jones OT 6-5 271 Evangelical Christian School (TN) OT #28 78 Verbal
Wesley Neighbors S 6-2 195 Huntsville H.S. (AL) S #23 78 Verbal
Don'ta Hightower DE 6-3 248 Marshall County H.S. (TN) DE #41 78 Verbal
Glenn Harbin DE 6-5 240 McGill Toolen Catholic H.S. (AL) DE #44 77 Verbal
Brad Smelley TE 6-3 220 American Christian Academy (AL) TE #31 77 Verbal
Jermaine Preyear FB 5-11 205 Davidson H.S. (AL) FB #5 77 Verbal
Robert Lester S 6-2 200 Foley H.S. (AL) S #38 77 Verbal
Corey Smith K 6-1 208 Musselman H.S. (WV) K #14 75 Verbal
Undra Billingsley DE 6-3 265 Woodlawn H.S. (AL) DE #85 74 Verbal
2008 Player Commitments - Alabama - Junior College/Transfers
Terrance Cody DT 6-5 390 Perkinston, MS Mississippi Gulf Coast Comm College Verbal

Only one j.c. transfer makes the list, but he's a three-star 6-5, 390 behemoth, therefore being the hogzilla of this year's recruiting class. Other notable recruits include quarterback Star Jackson, offensive tackle Tyler Love, athlete Burton Scott and defensive end Courtney Scott. I can't wait to see these guys actually play some football.