Tuesday, December 16, 2008

People Who Would be worse hires for the Auburn Head Football Coaching job than Gene Chizik

A non-comprehensive list in no particular order.
1: Bill Stewart: If Auburn hired Bill Stewart, the man who tried to make Pat White a drop back passing threat and who has dropped n-bombs in the past, charles Barkley wouldbegin whipping more ass on the Plains than he did on that episode of Saturday Night Live when he played one-on-one against Barney.
2: Lou Holtz: Lou Holtz is probably lamenting the fact that Auburn let Terry Bowden go.
3:Steve Spurrier: Hey, Spurrier may be the best coach in the SEC, but have you noticed that he's not particularly great at beating in-state rivals as of late?
4: Mike Dubose, Mike Price or Mike Shula: Okay, these are all possibly equal hires with Price being a possible step up for Auburn.
5:The head football coach at the high school where I am currently employed. In two years, he's compiled a 4-13 record and has been quoted thusly: "There's no way that team is 56 points better than we are."
6: Hal Mumme: Auburn would still suck and would be on probation in like 5 minutes. Furthermore, Tony Franklin may re-emerge in the offensive coordinator mix.
7:Joe Paterno or Bobby Bowden: They both probably remember scheduling Auburn when it was called Alabama Polytechnic Institute
8: Lattimer from The Program.
9:Greg Robinson: Okay, so he did beat Notre Dame and Louisville, but his teams pretty much lost to everyone else.
10:Jeff Lebo: He's done a great job of keeping Auburn's basketball team irrelevant, so why not keep it that way.

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