Monday, December 31, 2007

New Years rezzy numero one

I'm going to crank that Heisman like Kellen Winslow on the first woman who tries to steal a stroke of midnight kiss from yours truly on the dawning of 2008.

In the Battle for Independence, freedom comes at a high price...

Okay, Bama actually improved upon last season's 6-7 campaign, and the 30-24 Independence Bowl victory is a nice end to a very schizophrenic season. For the first 25 minutes of last night' contest, the Tide played some of it best football of the season. Matt Caddell played like an All-American and even partially blocked a punt. Nikita Stover's front flip into the end zone was hilariously awesome, and Rolando McClain was making some tremendous hits on the Buffaloes. Then, Wilson tossed a pick and Bama became Bama. Colorado almost came back, but Bama was able to prevent a crazy lateral-infused final play from going the distance, thus preserving the victory. Obviously, Colorado isn't a great team, but did earn victories of Oklahoma and Nebraska this season. Alabama's largest problem was highlighted throughout the second half, and that malady is the team's ability to play consistently for a 60-minute period. Saban is really trying to get the players to put forth the same effort on every play, but this has been Bama's problem all season long. Hopefully, a better, more-focused Tide will take the field next September.

On a side note, I suffered a football related injury from celebrating late in the game. I leapt in the air and landed hard on my ankle. In my inebriated state, I was still able to dance after the win, but, this morning, it looked as if a tennis ball was in place of my ankle. Not good. I have employed a bag of ice and a self-adhering bandage, so all should be well this evening.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Saban Cranks Dat Cupid Shuffle

Man, Knowshon may crank dat Soulja Boy (sorta), but can Mark Richt or Tommy Tubervile or Houston Nutt cut the rug like Nick Saban? Methinks, not. Apparently, Saban is quite proud of his dancing ability and Bama players like some gay-ass old ladies dance. Yeah, this explains the ULM loss better than any other evidence of ineptitude during the game. Bama players spend more time dancing than they do playing football. Okay, when the Tide scores against Colorado and the whole team does the cupid shuffle, I'll be very impressed. Actually, it's pretty awesome seeing Saban having a good time and tearing it up on the dance floor.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Bowl Predictions (Completed)

December 20
Poinsettia Bowl: Utah vs Navy: UTAH
December 21
:New Orleans Bowl: Florida Atlantic vs Memphis:Fla Atl.
December 22
: Bowl: Cincinnati vs Southern Mississippi: Cincinnati
4 New Mexico Bowl: New Mexico vs. Nevada: New Mexico
Las Vegas Bowl: BYU vs UCLA: BYU
December 23
Sheraton Hawaii Bowl: East Carolina vs Boise St.: BOISE ST
December 26
Motor City Bowl: Purdue vs Central Michigan: PURDUE
December 27
Holiday Bowl: Texas vs Arizona State: TEXAS
December 28
Champs Sports Bowl: Boston College vs Michigan State: BOSTON COLLEGE
Texas Bowl: TCU vs Houston: TCU
Emerald Bowl: Maryland vs Oregon State: OREGON ST
December 29
Meineke Car Care Bowl: Wake Forest vs Connecticut: WAKE FOREST
Autozone Liberty Bowl: UCF vs Mississippi State: MISSISSIPPI ST
Alamo Bowl: Penn State vs Texas A&M: PENN ST
December 30
Independence Bowl: Colorado vs Alabama: BAMA
December 31
Armed Forces Bowl: Air Force vs California: AIR FORCE
Sun Bowl: South Florida vs Oregon: SOUTH FORIDA
Humanitarian: Georgia Tech vs Fresno State: GA TECH
Gaylords Hotels Music City: Kentucky vs Florida State: Kentucky
Chick-fil-A: Auburn vs Clemson: AUBURN
Insight: Indiana vs Oklahoma State: OK ST
January 1
Outback: Wisconsin vs Tennessee: TENNESSEE
Cotton: Missouri vs Arkansas: MISSOURI
Gator: Virginia vs Texas Tech: TEXAS TECH
Capital One: Michigan vs Florida: FLORIDA
Rose: USC vs Illinois: USC
Sugar: Hawaii vs Georgia: UGA
January 2
Fiesta: Oklahoma vs West Virginia: OKLAHOMA
January 3
Orange: Virginia Tech vs Kansas: VA TECH
January 5
International: Rutgers vs Ball State: RUTGERS
January 6
GMAC: Tulsa vs Bowling Green: TULSA
January 7
BCS National Championship Game: Ohio State vs LSU: LSU

Tuesday, December 25, 2007


is Julio Jones in Tuscaloosa next fall. Oh, please Santa, let this one happen.

Oh, woe is's one-eight-seven on the thug apologists

My co-coach J.R. Suicide has written all that matters on the subject of our defeat in the Boozehounds fantasy football finals. None of our players performed well, the lone exceptions being The Bears defense (a team we ingeniously benched) and our kicker (Josh Brown). We sucked it up bigtime and scored fewer points than any other team in the league. However, I feel that this is the nature of the fantasy football playoffs. We made the championship because we didn't have Romo or Brady, who both led fantasy geeks across America to the promised land only to put up zilch two weeks ago. Yeah, no shirts for us this year, no steak dinners and Logan's and no making it rain at Topper's after the would-be victory. So, I sit alone, in my Santa suit in the dark, weeping and drinking a bottle of cheap wine, enjoying the holidays in quiet solitude.

Friday, December 21, 2007

FAU vs Memphis???

Bowl Pick #2:

I pick Florida Atlantic to win, but I'm really dubious of both teams and why anyone would care about, much less attend this game.

Hoover Bucs New Head Coach know Kenniebloggins

Hoover High has named former Glenwood graduate, Southern Miss. quarterback recruit, Alabama walk-on fullback and Oxford head football coach as the replacement to Rush Propst, the batshit crazy screaming freak who led the school to 5 state titles since 2000. I once saw Niblett sit in a chair and throw a football 55 yards,which, at the time, seemed like an impressive feat. Hopefully, he'll be able to match Propst's success in upcoming years and avoid any type of scandalous clandestine lifestyle maladies from which Propst suffered.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Poinsettia Bowl Prediction

Utah vs Navy

Navy is without head coach Paul Johnson, but I imagine that his presence would make very little difference in this game. Navy takes it hard up the ass, just how they like it during those never-ending submarine voyages. Utah is simply a better team and wins this one 35-17.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

We pop bottles

after Thug Apologists win the boozehounds league this week!

A Pause in your college bowl pick'em selections allows you to take a jaunt down Beat Street

Methinks no time is a bad time for a little Jonzun Crew.

Tellem Texas

This was at the beginning of the season against UCF, and while most of the Longhorns still straight suck at dancing, fewer UGA players were really cranking that shit during the Auburn game. UGA played the song during most home games, but even at the Troy game, a couple of players were basically doin the lean with it rock wit it instead. I dunno if Texas was cranking it by the season's end, or were they like, dude, this shit is played?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

College Football Mythology 101

Urban Myth #1

The spread option offense is going to revolutionize college football and change the way teams recruit quarterbacks. No longer will a need exist for Peyton Manning-esque quarterbacks who are six-feet, four or five inches tall and weight 240 lb. pocket passers. Now, each and every team will need a lithe quarterback who can run like a gazelle and provide a modicum of a passing attack. This is complete media hype, and if the majority of college coaches actually adhere to this popular philosophy, there will be some sad-ass football fans across the nation. Lots of this speculation is based around two factors. The first factor is that Tim Tebow just won the Heisman Trophy and his team, the Florida Gators, are defending BCS National Champions. The Tebow-led Gators lost three games this year. The major difference between last year's team and this year's team is that the majority of last year's defense moved on to the NFL. Analysts always discuss the difficulty of defending against the spread, but apparently LSU, Georgia and Auburn had little problem accomplishing this task.

The second factor rests in Michigan's hiring of Rich Rodriguez, who has performed well at West Virginia with a Pat White led squad. White is about six feet tall and weighs about a buck eighty-five. Now, he moves to skipper the Big Blue, who should be quarterbacked by ryan Mallet, a six-feet, seven inches Texan, who was considered the second best quarterback coming out of high school and who already has gained valuable game experience as a freshman. So, Michigan is going to bench Mallet for Rodriguez's qb of choice? It'll be interesting to see how this one plays out, but my guess is that Rodriguez will need to hire or keep a good defensive coordinator and recruit some defensive talent to keep Michigan near the top of The Big Ten in upcoming years.

Essentially, the fanatacism of turning to the spread offense is a fad reminscent of the wishbone craze of the late 1970s and early 80's. Ten years from now, a few coaches will run it, but most schools will opt out of the fad once their teams start posting more notches in the loss column.

Monday, December 17, 2007

You are a sunt, my friend

The Big Lead has posted the best Isaiah Thomas footage ever. In this video, he explains what Bobby Knight taught him during his time playing for the Hoosiers. Classic, classic, classic!

Saturday, December 15, 2007


Grab your doobies because the Valdosta State Blazers defeated NW Missouri State to claim the Division II football championship and some hot-handed three-point shooting just moved the UAB Blazers past Kentucky in roundball action. Coincidence? I think not. 4/20 came a wee bit late this year in the South.

Monday, December 10, 2007

The future of the A?

So, Chris Redman is the Falcons starting qb for tonight's Monday Night Football game in the Ga. Dome against the Saints. So far, Redman is 13-20 for 199 yards with a touchdown toss to Roddy White and zero interceptions. And this guy hasn't started a game since 2002. I'm really beginning to wonder if Petrino and Rich McKay will actually draft Brian Brohm next year. That's what I really want, though. I want an Atlanta team filled with former Louisville standouts. Those guys are so much fun to watch in college, that an NFL team with guys like Michael Bush, Elvis Dumerville, Harry Douglas, Brohm and Mario Urrutia would be a lot better than a team with guys like Michael Jenkins, Joey Harrington, Roddy White, Jamaal Anderson and Michael Jenkins. So, from now forward, or until Bobby Petrino leaves Atlanta for an SEC or University of Miami opening, I'm starting the grassroots movement tentatively named "DRAFT/TRADE FOR/SIGN LOUISVILLE NOW, ARTHUR BLANK, YOU SNIVELING DOUCHEBAG!"

Actually, Redman just threw a pick six to former Bama standout Roman Harper. I guess all good things come to an end at some anticipated juncture.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Got that Wood Baby!

Tonight, a new Heisman Trophy winner will be named, and my guess is that Tim Tebow gets it over Darren McFadden and Colt Brennan. Nobody cares about Chase Daniel. Seriously. All three are amazing college football players and I think valid arguments can be made for each regarding who deserves the trophy. However, my imaginary vote would be cast in McFadden's direction. He is the best offensive player in the nation and should have an ultra-productive NFL career. Brennan and Tebow have bigger stats, but McFadden shared carries with Felix Jones and played on a team with fewer than 10 good players. Regardless of tonight's outcome, McFadden is secure in the fact that he already got that wood!

Wednesday, December 5, 2007


So, I decided to take a few days off from blogging, due to the fact that I've slightly burned out on college football for a moment, and a season as overwhelmingly mediocre as this one almost makes me reassess the possibility that I am a sane human being for loving this sport as much as I do. I keep hearing people say this is the best college football seasons ever, and I keep wondering for whom this season kicks so much ass. For Hawaii fans most definitely, this season has to be the most memorable ever. For Mississippi State and Kentucky fans, it definitely had its tremendous highs and monstrous lows. For the teams featuring coaches who were ready to devour a semen smoothie for a glimpse at that title game, they have all had better seasons, and for Pete Carroll, that guy has the best attitude of any coach I've seen in recent years. He wasn't Mark Richt suggesting that a team that finishes third in its conference and second in its side of the conference should legitimately get the opportunity to play that game. He wasn't Les Miles discussing his team's unbeaten status in regulation games, and he wasn't Bob Stoops ready to go spread eagle and take on the entire BCS committee for another chance to lose or get blown out in a title game. Carroll was pretty fucking cool about the whole ordeal. He knew his team lost to a terrible Stanford team and he took the blame for the loss. He said that his team just "wanted to win forever," which is a pretty good goal for a college football team and its coach. I don't blame the other guys for pandering a bit, though, because that's what they get paid to do.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

I'll have a Chargrilled chicken sanwich, a medium waffle fries an large Coke and, oh, a GHSA high school playoff game to go

This tale I heard this yesterday on 960 am cannot completely verified, but it appears that the GHSA state football playoffs have pulled some Friday Night Lights type site decision making, but have possibly even taken the situation a bit further. A new GHSA rule deems that teams meeting in the playoffs with the same regional seeding will have the home site determined by a coin toss. So, Athens Academy Coach Mike Gunn met with Brookstone (Columbus, Ga.) coach Blair Harrison at a neutral site, a Chick-Fil-A Peachtree City in attempt to determine the site of last night's playoff game. No GHSA officials were present, so the two coaches chose a random customer to flip a coin. Athens Academy won the coin flip and home field advantage for last night's 1A state quarterfinal game. Athens Academy won the game 14-13 on a late touchdown with less than two minutes remaining.
The Spartans are now headed for the Dome for next weekend's semi-final match-up.

Lou Holtz, NBA Coach?

Holtz wearing a Knicks jersey is a good enough start, but when he calls out Marbury and then says something to the effect that a YMCA team can score 59 points, it puts it over the top. I'm glad pep talks don't stop at the end of college football season. I can't wait for his pep talk to American professional tennis players prior to the start of the French Open.

belated, but

Happy Birthday, Bo.

Yesterday marked the the birthday of the greatest running back ever born in the state of Alabama. The Realist salutes Vincent Bo Jackson, 1985 Heisman trophy winner and two sport professional badass. He also should receive the most credit for helping Auburn move to the same level of football awesomeness that Bama had solely enjoyed up until the 1982 season, Bo's freshman year. Here's one that helped notch his legendary Iron Bowl status. ESPN commemorates his greatness here.

And here's how awesome Bo was on Tecmo Super Bowl

And here are some highlights from his Raiders days. This clip features his most famous touchdown run, the 91 yarder against the Seahawks his rookie year during which he disappears into the tunnel and doesn't return for what seems to be a long time. Later in the game, he totally exposes Brian Bosworth by flattening him. From that point on, everything Bo did became part of the legend. From his baseball heroics to more amazing NFL runs,his success really re-opened the doors for other two-sport professional athletes. Today, Bo is a successful businessman, a driver of a hulking pickup a top-notch hunter and father. He's 45, and his legend seems to grow each college football season. If you never saw Bo play. I salute you Bo, master of running backs, smasher of home runs, and killer of wild game.