Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I'll be Sweding the last 15 years or so of Alabama games...

Be Kind Rewind is really awesome and it gave me an idea for college sports...If you don't like the outcome of a game, make it sweded (which means film it your way.) I'll most likely be making the past decade or so of Alabama losses "sweded" on this site in the near future...
Here's the trailer for the movie. File this under "highly recommended." (not the trailer, but the film.)


Man, I really fucking hate the ESPN greatest highlight poll. Who cares? How can an amazing highlight from one sport be superlative to one from another. Cross-sports polls are the stupidest things ever invented. When I was a kid, ESPN was awesome. I could watch CFL football, AWA wrestling, monster truck rallies, bass fishing, and replays for days of college football games. It was the best thing ever. Now, instead, we get to watch tripe such as "Who's the Most Now," and "Which highlight is the greatest," and Cold Pizza, which is totally girly now that Woody is gone (not that I endorse Woody). Sports used to be for dudes who liked sports. Over the past, I dunno, 25 years or so, ESPN has slowly made sports something that belongs on E! or something that total douchebags who never even played tee-ball feel like kings, because it is a network created by and for douchebags. Not that this is news to anyone, but I felt a rant coming on and I needed to take full advantage of the situation.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Why Darren Mcfadden should be an Atl. Falcon

So, it's official. The Falcons will have the 3rd overall pick in the 2008 NFL draft. Hopefully, the Falcons will select a player who will not only help the team's chances of improving in the immediate future but also will help fill the superstar void left by the dismissal/imprisonment of Michael Vick. That player, most sensibly, is Darren McFadden. Here are a few reasons why the Falcons should select D-Mac on Draft Day.
A: McFadden is from Arkansas, and Arkansas is in the SEC. Georgians tend to love SEC football, and McFadden is the league's biggest available superstar and best offensive prospect.
B: Mike Smith comes from run-oriented and defensive-minded Jacksonville. He has witnessed how a two-back run-oriented system can help a strong defensive unit win football games. At Jacksonville, the Jags have Maurice Jones-Drew and Fred Taylor. In Atlanta, he could potentially have Jerious Norwood and McFadden. This combo could be potentially one of the most awesome in the NFL, and would give Falcons fans a reason to come back to the Dome.
C: By drafting McFadden, the Falcons could allow Warrick Dunn to leave and finish his career for a team which might have a chance of winning the Super Bowl. Dunn's been a great player for Atlanta, but he deserves to finish his career on a winning team.
D: McFadden is an automobile afficionado, as demonstrated here. I cannot even imagine what his Atl. hood ride might look like.
E: McFadden has been known to get into altercations at clubs, and what better city exists to get into club brawls than Atlanta? Okay, bad reason.
F: He got that wood!

Seriously, if the Falcons draft wisely and take McFadden, I'll immediately go out and buy a Mcfadden jersey and then proceed to get as drunk as possible and go to as many Falcons home games as possible while he's with the team. Shit, I may even move to Atlanta jut to say I live in the same city as McFadden. However, I see a defensive player or qb as the Falcons future number one selection.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

When sport are getting boring, watch some dance videos

This is a clip of a drunken Jamaican woman having a misstep during a dutty wine competiton. Don't laugh too hard, though. This dance is dangerous. One late night a few weeks ago S. and I were having dance club practice and I was trying to learn the dutty wine with her. I'm not supposed to even be doing this dance, for it's a woman's dance (though there is a similar dance for dudes, which may even have the same name). We had been practicing for about 20 minutes or so when the accident occurred. It happened at the point where the dancer begins frantically swinging her (or in my case his) head. I swung to the right and S. swung hers to the left and my teeth hit her scalp. I was knocked out on the floor and she had a gigantic bruise on the top of her head. Pretty awesome. Essentially, the accident brought an end to dance club.

Here is how the dance should look... This is the Tony Matterhorn video.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Nothing beats seeing Hillary Clinton getting laid out by Scottie Pippen

It's hard to argue with the awesomeness of NBA Jam, especially when the Clintons are taking on the Bulls. Yeah, the Bullets sucked back then, but did they have to resort to signing the President of the United States and the First Lady. Wouldn't complimentary first-row seats be enough? Now if the Lakers had only signed Jack Nicholson and the Knicks signed Spike Lee, the NBA would have been even more awesome in the 1990s.

Aubie and Big Al Unite for Literacy

Apparently, the best motivation to spark the reading interest of youngsters in the state of Alabama is to unite the two rivalry schools' mascots in a statewide literacy campaign. On the site, teachers may also download coloring book pages featuring Aubie and Big Al wearing the famous hat worn by none other than dr. Seuss' Cat in the Hat. No, the two mascots aren't going to a rave circa 1991, but hopefully, this campaign will engender a more-literate Iron Bowl in future years. However, someone should probably inform the AEA that being literate is usually not synonymously viewed by Alabamans with winning the Iron Bowl.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Nothing is quite like a little friendly gridiron competition between two teams of skanky women with nothing to lose

This week's episode of Rock of Love featured a powder puff football game played on a muddy field with faux snow, wind and rain piped in throughout the action. I wanted to post some clips, but I can't find anything yet. Still, I think I could get into an entire season of Mud Bowl. I mean, what is better two teams of skanks woman playing poweder-puff football? Oh yeah, hot skanks playing powder puff. Okay, the lingerie bowl may be better and this is definitely better.

The link for rock of love is here

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Julio Jones to testify

So, Julio Jones will most likely testify in a murder trial, and no, he's not a suspect. He's supposed to testify for the prosecution. More
Also, by viewing the comments thread, both Auburn and Bama fans need to take classes in both sensitivity training and, fuck, I dunno, anti-racism. I understand that the rivalry between Alabama and Auburn is forever-intense, but to stoop to racial stereotyping and degrading a kid (albeit an amazing football prospect) based upon where he lives is fucking ridiculous. A person is not automatically a thug or a poor student because he or she comes from an an area with high rates of both crime and poverty. If that were the case, the Williams sisters would be the most thugged out tennis players in the history of the game (and everybody knows that Martina Hingis and Jennifer Capriati have that shit on lock for the last two decades.) So, read the comments thread and prepare not to be astonished.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

NSD...One Week Later

So, I allowed almost a whole week to elapse before writing a post about national signing day. Alabama was ranked number one nationally by both Rivals and Scout after landing wide-receiver man-child Julio Jones in a rather subdued nationally televised signing moment. In one day, Nick Saban landed more four and five star recruits than Mike Shula did during his entire tenure with the school. Granted, this is the first year in the past five years that Bama has been at full-scholarship potential, due to hardship engendered by a lengthy probation period. Therefore Alabama was able to sign more recruits than some of its competitors. My biggest concern of this stellar recruiting class has nothing to do with with players, whether new or current. The biggest issue rests with the Tide/Saban nation. If everyone will chill the fuck out, ride out this season and not expect a miracle, awesome things should happen. If Bama fans go fucking apeshit, then the bottom will drop out of this motherfucker and my 11-month old nephew will be a grown ass man before Alabama's football team is anywhere near a perennial powerhouse. So, let's fucking stay cool and see what happens. 'kay?

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

The most important day of 2008

You probably thought this post was going to be about how I made it to my voting location and cast my ballot for the candidate of my choice in the primary at 7:00 a.m. this morning (which did happen.) Nope, it's about a day far more important, and that day just so happens to fall the day after Super Tuesday this year. National signing day is upon us, and Alabama supposedly has a top 4 or top 9 recruiting class coming to Tuscaloosa next season. Top-rated wide receiver Julio Jones from Foley, Alabama, will sign with the school of his choice tomorrow, so if Bama does get him, people will be very excited. Even without Jones, Bama still has its best class since being placed on probation. Here is the list of commitments thus far:

Burton Scott ATH 5-11 194 Vigor H.S. (AL) ATH #1 84 Verbal
Courtney Upshaw DE 6-2 225 Eufaula H.S. (AL) DE #4 83 Verbal
Tyler Love OT 6-7 280 Mountain Brook H.S. (AL) OT #1 83 Verbal
Kerry Murphy DT 6-5 320 Hargrave Military Academy PG 81 Verbal
Chris Jackson ATH 6-0 187 Henry County H.S. (GA) ATH #14 80 Verbal
Mark Ingram RB 5-10 190 Southwestern Academy (MI) RB #16 80 Verbal
Melvin Ray WR 6-2 185 North Florida Christian H.S. (FL) WR #23 80 Verbal
Chris Jordan OLB 6-2 201 Brentwood H.S. (TN) OLB #20 80 Verbal
Destin Hood WR 6-2 185 Saint Pauls Episcopal School (AL) WR #31 80 Verbal
Mark Barron ATH 6-2 202 Saint Pauls Episcopal School (AL) ATH #19 80 Verbal
Devonta Bolton WR 6-3 220 Norcross H.S. (GA) WR #33 80 Verbal
Robby Green CB 6-0 175 John Curtis Christian H.S. (LA) CB #15 80 Verbal
Alonzo Lawrence CB 6-1 187 George County H.S. (MS) CB #17 80 Verbal
Ivan Matchett RB 5-10 206 Saint Pauls Episcopal School (AL) RB #31 79 Verbal
John Michael Boswell OT 6-6 290 Tuscaloosa County H.S. (AL) OT #19 79 Verbal
Brandon Lewis DE 6-3 260 Pleasant Valley H.S. (AL) DE #21 79 Verbal
Damion Square DE 6-3 265 Jack Yates H.S. (TX) DE #24 79 Verbal
Star Jackson QB 6-3 182 Lake Worth H.S. (FL) QB #22 79 Verbal
Michael Williams DE 6-6 240 Pickens County H.S. (AL) DE #26 79 Verbal
Barrett Jones OT 6-5 271 Evangelical Christian School (TN) OT #28 78 Verbal
Wesley Neighbors S 6-2 195 Huntsville H.S. (AL) S #23 78 Verbal
Don'ta Hightower DE 6-3 248 Marshall County H.S. (TN) DE #41 78 Verbal
Glenn Harbin DE 6-5 240 McGill Toolen Catholic H.S. (AL) DE #44 77 Verbal
Brad Smelley TE 6-3 220 American Christian Academy (AL) TE #31 77 Verbal
Jermaine Preyear FB 5-11 205 Davidson H.S. (AL) FB #5 77 Verbal
Robert Lester S 6-2 200 Foley H.S. (AL) S #38 77 Verbal
Corey Smith K 6-1 208 Musselman H.S. (WV) K #14 75 Verbal
Undra Billingsley DE 6-3 265 Woodlawn H.S. (AL) DE #85 74 Verbal
2008 Player Commitments - Alabama - Junior College/Transfers
Terrance Cody DT 6-5 390 Perkinston, MS Mississippi Gulf Coast Comm College Verbal

Only one j.c. transfer makes the list, but he's a three-star 6-5, 390 behemoth, therefore being the hogzilla of this year's recruiting class. Other notable recruits include quarterback Star Jackson, offensive tackle Tyler Love, athlete Burton Scott and defensive end Courtney Scott. I can't wait to see these guys actually play some football.