Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Bowl season recap, to this pt.

Unfortunately, I have been too busy to be completely wrapped up in watching all of the non-BCS bowls to this juncture. Hopefully, that will change a bit in the near future. However, here are some of the high and low points of what I've seen thus far.
1:Best bowl to date: Probably the UNC-West Virginia game, but TCU-Boise State, MD- Nevada and Missouri-Northwestern all were pretty exciting, or at least the parts I've watched, plus the highlights were.
2: I like how teams like to leave defensive play to the regular season.
3: Pat White is a college football God. He's a folk hero of John Henryesque proportions, and one day, when I'm a grizzled grandfather, I will sit by the solar trash heap on blustery nights, regaling my grandchildren with tales of 50 and 60 yard touchdown heroics. I'll always miss Pat White in college football.
4: Everybody better watch the fuck out for UNC next year. I feel like Butch Davis should receive some C.O.T.Y. recognition for making UNC football relevant once again.
5: Rutgers finished the season in absolutely scorching fashion. After the miserable start, this team really got it going in the second half of the year. Rutgers should have won 10 games.
6: I like when I make my bowl pick'em selection thusly: I'll take Rice over Western Michigan because I know the names of two of Rice's players ad don't know shit about Western Michigan. Pretty good system, I guess.
7: I'm really surprised that Oregon beat OK State. I thought that Oklahoma State was probably a Top 10 team this season, but sketchy defensive play kind of left them on the upper side of mediocre at the conclusion.
8: The U will probably fire Randy Shannon at the conclusion of next season.
9: FSU straight put a good ole Southern ass-whoopin' on Wisconsin. FSU isn't quite back to form, but those guys are making progress.
10: Did anyone see that ridiculous Black leather oxford shirt Ladanian Tomlinson was wearing at the TCU-Boise game? Horrendous. At least the fact that L.T. is more country than a sack o possums is a little comforting.
11:The Maryland-Nevada game had the wildest opening six minutes of football I've seen this year. In the course of 360 seconds, both teams scored touchdowns, Maryland missed a p.a.t., Nevada scored in about three plays, Maryland ran the ensuing kickoff back 99 yds for a t.d., the MD kicker botched the kickoff as the ball blew off the tee, Nevada retunedit to the three yd. line and then tossed a pick. Amazing! In the end, Maryland prevailed due to one fact- The Terps have Chris "Big Game" Turner commandeering the offense. With at least 50 fans in the house and a blue playing surf, Big game Turner realizes that the odds are against his Terrapins and rises to the challenge. Excalibur! Victory!
12: If Athens hosted a bowl in Sanford Stadium it could be called the Golden Bowl and be hosted by the Grit, the 40 Watt and REM (props to JR Suicide on naming sponsorship). Just sayin...
13: More updates to come, but I wish all two readers a Happy New Year

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

another awesomely amazingly shitty coach auburn forgot to hire instead of Gene Chizik

Darrell Dickey: Dickey was so awesome at North Texas that when they fired his ass, he made their usual jerseys disappear and forced the team to play its final game in generic middle school tearaway practice uniforms. He's now the Utah State offensive coordinator, so perhaps Auburn will give some serious thought to hiring him as Chizik's replacement.

Honorable mention goes to Ted Roof, Duke's one-time coach who was so committed to the tradition of keeping Duke at the bottom of the ACC that the school actually forgot he was coach and hired David Cutcliffe to give the Blue Devils at least a modicum of lower-tier respectability.

Interactive Horsehockey

Honestly, turning awesome the Poinsettia Bowl matchup between Boise St and TCU into an ESPN Interactive Tuesday shitstorm is one of the worst ideas ever. Hopefully, if this one comes down to a one-possession game the banal fan comments that have rolled across the top of the screen throughout most of the game will cease. Seriously, ESPN is ruining one of the best bowl match-ups this year has to offer.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

10 more hires that would have made JR Suicide finally blow his brains out

i enjoyed Kenniebloggin's 10 coaching hires that would've been worse than Gene Chizik (although i honestly would take Steve Spurrier over the guy we have).

here's 10 more coaches that would have been worse hires

1. Bill Calahan- already has a lot of experience taking a once proud college football program and running it into the ground.

2. Fisher DeBerry- "Afro-American kids can run very, very well". thanks Captain Obvious. yeah he'd be a beast on the recruiting trail.

3. Steve Kragthorpe- like Calahan but he did an even better job of ruining a program even more he lost to Greg Robinson (twice!!!)

4. Ty Willingham- a black coach that even Barkley would've been angry about.

5. Herm Edwards- ditto.

6. Larry Coker- yes he did win a national title, but he also put the U in their current shitty state.

7. Charlie Weis- Auburn would suck and i'd hate the coach. also, he lost to Greg Robinson (at home!).

8. Ed Orgeron- i mean as a recruiter he'd be kind of awesome...but we'd have to wait 3 or 4 years and fire his ass to get someone to win with all his talent.

9. Bob Davie- footbaw

10. whoever the hell coaches for North Texas- they went 1-11 in the fucking Sun Belt. they won that thing like 4 years in a row not that long ago and then fired their coach after two mediocre seasons. how'd that work out for you?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

People Who Would be worse hires for the Auburn Head Football Coaching job than Gene Chizik

A non-comprehensive list in no particular order.
1: Bill Stewart: If Auburn hired Bill Stewart, the man who tried to make Pat White a drop back passing threat and who has dropped n-bombs in the past, charles Barkley wouldbegin whipping more ass on the Plains than he did on that episode of Saturday Night Live when he played one-on-one against Barney.
2: Lou Holtz: Lou Holtz is probably lamenting the fact that Auburn let Terry Bowden go.
3:Steve Spurrier: Hey, Spurrier may be the best coach in the SEC, but have you noticed that he's not particularly great at beating in-state rivals as of late?
4: Mike Dubose, Mike Price or Mike Shula: Okay, these are all possibly equal hires with Price being a possible step up for Auburn.
5:The head football coach at the high school where I am currently employed. In two years, he's compiled a 4-13 record and has been quoted thusly: "There's no way that team is 56 points better than we are."
6: Hal Mumme: Auburn would still suck and would be on probation in like 5 minutes. Furthermore, Tony Franklin may re-emerge in the offensive coordinator mix.
7:Joe Paterno or Bobby Bowden: They both probably remember scheduling Auburn when it was called Alabama Polytechnic Institute
8: Lattimer from The Program.
9:Greg Robinson: Okay, so he did beat Notre Dame and Louisville, but his teams pretty much lost to everyone else.
10:Jeff Lebo: He's done a great job of keeping Auburn's basketball team irrelevant, so why not keep it that way.

Monday, December 15, 2008

My thoughts on Auburn's hiring of Gene Chizick

Are you fucking serious? I had listed Iowa State as one of the worst BCS conference football team and Auburn hires the guy that brought them to the valley of suck that the team currently inhabits. Methinks Auburn hit the panic button a little too early.

Ah, my weekly vow of Bama football silence is over, if you consider not writing about the SEC title game to be silence.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Go Bye Bye, Tub

I'm kind of amazed that Tommy Tuberville "resigned" today. I guess six straight years of kicking Bama's ass were erased in one scoreless Saturday of Auburn football. Though he basically owned Bama during his tenure, I'll miss the guy. I'm sure the Riverboat Gambler will land somewhere and be successful. I guess he kind of got semi-Croomed this year in Auburn's amazing 3-2 win over Mississippi State.

Here's a tribute to that game, which somehow partially began the sealing of his fate.