I've been quiet all week, but...

This is kinda how I felt during Bama's win over Clemson.
Second best performance by a team last week- definitely. Number One with a bullet, aw naw hell naw.
We back, y'all. Buck as fuck Bama. So, to sum up last weekend, here's another audio-visual nmber for you dudes and dudettes (I mean Justin, who may be the only reader if one exists).


Nappy Roots featuring Greg Street. Song o' my summer.

NCST must feel really shitty about right now

'Cuz South Cackalacky fuckin' blows this year. I found out about a few things while watching the Vandy-SC game at in of the frattiest environs ever. Whatev. I was wearin' my Sperrys and an old Lacoste, so shit was good. Okay here is what I learned:

a) Captain Munnerlyn will play for the Falcons one day because he has an attitude, thinks he's a big enough star that he can get multiple penalties during crucial drives and is unable to cover Vandy receivers coming of the line without holding, despite possessing a 4.35 40 time. B-to-the-ullshit on that.
b) Bobby Johnson rules
c) One team's anonymous white rb becomes another team's anonymous white rb the next week. Call it Tim Riggins syndrome, I suppose.
d) No team should attempt a pass against South Carolina this season. And this isn't because the pass defense os stellar, either.
e) Jesse Palmer is Carson Palmer's brother. Think about that one. The bartender mentioned that. Also, bartenders at sports bars that are dudes tend to know less about sports than anyone.
f) That a South Carolina- Vandy game is way more exciting than a Giants-Redskins matchup.
g) Vandy might end up as a bowl eligible team this year, and South Carolina may not.
h) Steve Spurrier can't really much recruit better players at South Carolina than Bobby Johnson can at Vandy. I bet he'll hang this gig up after this season.
i) UGA fans will root for Vandy, though Vandy embarrassed the fuck out of UGA two years ago.
j) SEC football fucking rules. Oh wait, I knew that shit since I was a wee little lad.

Bama starts three new players against Clemson

Just as everyone expected, Julius Jones will start at x (split) receiver for Bama. Don'ta Hightower will start at linebacker and all 380 lbs. of Terrence Cody will start at nose tackle, in an obvious attempt to plug Clemson's furious ground attack, featuring CJ Spiller and James Davis. Spiller and Davis may be the most wicked combo in the NCAA this year, but if not the most, they are pretty close to the top.
Bama was expected to start a freshman at linebacker, but many people thought Jerrell Harris would get the nod for the opener. However, Harris is expected to contribute immediately.
As of right now, Bama is a 5.5 pt. underdog, but the closer the game gets, the better I actually feel about the Tide's chances to take this one.

Also expect freshmen Mark Ingram, BJ Scott and Mark Barron to play in the opener.

SEC EAST Predictions

1: UGA
2: Tennessee
3: Florida
4:South Carolina
5: Ky
6: Vandy

Okay, this is probably not a popular prediction, as I pick Florida to finish third in the East for the second year in a row. Probably, it's pretty stupid, but I don't believe in Florida's defense at all. Florida lost to a very mediocre Michigan team in its last game and returns a powerful offense, for sure. A defense that gives up that many points probably needs to be located in Nebraska and not Florida, but the Gators believe their young defense will improve with age. Whatever. Either the scheme sucks or the guys just aren't that good. Possibly a combo, too.

UGA could easily land in the third spot, as could Tennessee. UGA has been picked to be everybody's national champions, so the glory may just explode in their faces in a manner remiscent of some of Ron Jeremy's sexual encounters. Tenessee has an amazing ground game, the team's best receiver returning in Lucas Taylor and a solid defense (supposedly), but it'll be up to Jonathon Crompton to see if he can lead the Vols back to the Dome and save Fats Fulmer's job.

Okay, Florida willmost likely win the fucking East, but I gotta make shit interesting.

SEC West Predictions

1: Iron Bowl Winner
2: Iron Bowl Runner Up
3: LSU
4: Ole Miss
5: Mississippi St
6: Arkansas

I'm probably the only person who has predicted in this manner, but I think the team going to the Dome in December from the West will be the winner of the Iron Bowl. LSU's qb situation is not favorable. Yes, the Baton Rouge Tigers have more talent overall than Auburn or Bama, but not having game-tested qb will hurt LSU's chances. Also, anyone who thinks LSU's defense will be better without Dorsey and Steltz probably should be writing a bunch of shit that ends in eaux.

Ole Miss will be much improved with Nutt as coach. Believe that.

Mississippi St. is due a reality check.

Arkansas will probably beat a team the Hags shouldn't, but Petrino probably needs a year or two to really get shit poppin.'

Don't fuck with Jamaica

Damn, first bolt and now Melaine Walker. Fucking Amazing, ain't it? And I'm not just talking about the faux-hawkish do.

Can't hardly fucking wait

Bama will play Clemson on August 30 in the Georgia Dome, but I, like every other Tide fan eagerly await the debut of top high school receiving prospect Julio Jones (pictured above). If JPW can get him the ball, lovely things may happen. However, Jones has a ton of expectations awaiting him, which may be more than the freshman can handle.